Cheers Sexy People!
I am absolutely delighted to share my latest podcast interview with you, Part One and Part Two, that I recently recorded with JoEllen Notte, creator of the award winning website, The Redhead Bedhead, that explores modern relationships as it intersects with our mental health, and our sexuality. I was lucky enough to attend three of JoEllen’s workshops that she co-presented at the last two Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit’s, which is how I came to be familiar with her work. Last year, she spoke about managing our sexuality when one or both partners suffers from depression. Having struggled with depression in the past, I was deeply interested in her powerful work in this arena. Her other workshop was in regard to doing sex positive work online, and how to deal with your public image and personal intimate details being out there on the world wide web for others to poke at while you do your best to create a difference in the world. Very illuminating! I use a pseudonym in my work partly because of the “trolls” and unwanted advances that I get from those that misconstrue polyamory and sex positive work as a sexual free for all. This past year, her workshop was entitled, “Keep Giving A Fuck: A Conversation About Prioritizing Sex During Trying Times.” I know many reading this blog post have had a challenging year partly due to the current U.S. administration – even so far as to fall into depression about it! So this was a well-timed topic from an expert in the field at the front lines of change. You go, JoEllen! I love you and highly support your work! Keep going, and keep inspiring us all!
Here is JoEllen’s Bio:
JoEllen is a writer, speaker, researcher and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken on her award-winning site The Redhead Bedhead.
Some topics we discuss in this jam-packed interview:
— Her work regarding sex as it intersects with depression.
— How she woke up in 2011 in the completely wrong life, and started to explore her sexual side.
— How she was afraid of sex and what she did to overcome that.
— How depression doesn’t leave when you say “go away, we’re being sexy now!”
— How anti-depressants and hormone supplements took away her ability to orgasm, and how that pissed her off!
— We discuss personality types called Tigers and Turtles.
— How JoEllen and I are doppelgängers to each other in many ways (except one!).
— How her version of polyamory may not look like your polyamory.
— How she loves the book “Sex from Scratch: Making Your Own Relationship Rules” by Sarah Mirk.
— How she considers her mental health a fluctuating thing, and really values her partners for their continuous support.
— “The story she is telling herself” occasionally versus what is really happening ala Brené Brown’s work.
Hey folks, I’m JoEllen Notte, known to the internet as The Redhead Bedhead, a writer, speaker, researcher and mental health advocate who also talks about sex toys. This all started a few years back when I, at the age of 32, ended a sexless marriage, rebooted my life and decided to learn all about sex. I figured if I had things to learn and felt scared, alone, and broken the same was probably true for others. This led me to have what I thought was a terribly novel idea- I would talk about sex on the internet! (Adorable, no?).
Since 2012 I’ve written about sex, vibrators, mental health, and how none of us are broken right here on the award-winning RedheadBedhead.com as well as for xoJane, Bitch Media, Daily Dot, AlterNet and Kinkly. I’ve travelled North America touring the best sex shops in the US and Canada, led workshops on sexual communication, navigating consent, having casual sex kindly, and online dating, and spoken at length on sex toys but I am happiest and most effective when writing and speaking on behalf of quiet people who have sex– check out my video series on attending conferences as an introvert and extensive work on sex and depression, a topic I’ve been researching in earnest since 2014 (I’m even working on a book!)
I’m certified as a sex educator through the Planned Parenthood of Massachusetts Sexuality Education Certification Series and I’ve spoken at Clark College, University of Chicago, Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit and the Playground Conference.
I am not a doctor or a therapist. I am a writer and sex educator and I am committed to challenging stigma, offering resources, and helping folks feel seen, heard, and supported.
Thank you JoEllen, for being so awesomely generous with your time, for your amazing work surrounding mental health, sexuality and relationships, and for sharing your thoughts, wisdom and insights with us via the podcast interview, Part One and Part Two! It was informative, inspirational, and so fun! Follow her adventures and work at The Redhead Bedhead and on all social media @JoEllenNotte. Lastly feel free to support her important work on Patreon.
To hear the podcast, go to the Podcast link here and subscribe to the Loving Without Boundaries podcast, and check out Episodes 73 and 74 with JoEllen. Also, please help spread awareness of alternative lifestyles and create more tolerance for consensual non-monogamy in the world at large by Rating and Reviewing the Loving Without Boundaries podcast in iTunes. It only takes a few minutes.
If you would like to be interviewed either in written form or via audio on the podcast, please feel free to contact me and we will set something up. Thank you!
EXCLUSIVE CONTENT OFFER – We continue to have some exciting goings on here at Loving Without Boundaries (LWB). We now have exclusive content for you via the LWB podcast and my Patreon page for those who choose to become a patron. Please visit the link to check out how you can come join the party over at Patreon! Want to hear more from our amazing interviewees? You got it! Want to dig deeper into the community and your fellow poly folk? Right on, let’s do it! Want free coaching sessions? It’s all there! Come join us, and enjoy exclusive content made just for you, our patrons of this work!
1) Coup/3 Goals (Chicago, Illinois) with Ruby Johnson: Friday, March 23, 2018, 7–10pm, Reunion Chicago – Just Confirmed! I am thrilled to be co-presenting with Ruby Johnson (creator of PolyDallas Millennium) at this first of its kind event! This initial workshop date is the first of a four month series focused on the various ideals of navigating one’s personal journey in relationships, and the freedom of love and happiness created in non-traditional dynamics. Click the link above to learn more, register, and see more about other events in the series!
2) Namasgay (Seattle, Washington) with Frank Marci: April 20–22, 2018 — Hey spiritually-minded LGBTQ friends — big news! I was selected as a speaker for the upcoming Namasgay Summit this April 20-22 in Seattle and would love for you to join us! The Summit will feature some highly-acclaimed LGBTQ spiritual leaders that will share insights for you to start living with deeper meaning and purpose. The Summit is a gathering of soulful, positive LGBTQ people and a great opportunity to make new, life-long connections. If this sounds like something you’d be interested in, grab your seat before they fill up at www.namasgay.com/pages/summit. SPECIAL OFFER: If you use the code “KITTY” at checkout, you’ll receive 25% off registration! I hope you can join us for what will be a fun and transformative weekend! If you have any specific questions, you can direct them to Frank Macri at email@example.com.
3) RelateCon (Boise, Idaho): April 27–29, 2018 — RelateCon provides a unique and supportive gathering place for polyamorous people to connect as a community through educational workshops, social spaces, and opportunities for networking. The core value of this conference is to empower healthy relationships across a myriad of configurations. I will be giving two presentations at this year’s RelateCon: “The Effects of ‘The Poly Closet’ on Metamours, Ex-metamours, and Pivot Partners” and a brand new workshop based on my “Jealousy Survival Guide.” I hope to see you there!
See you on the flip side, lovely community! Keep being brave, compassionately vulnerable, and uniquely and authentically you!
Wishing you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)