Cheers Sexy People!
I am totally stoked to share my latest podcast interview with you that I recently recorded with Kevin Patterson, creator of the movement, blog, and video podcast Poly Role Models. Kevin and I were both recently at the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit and even in the same classroom with Jules Purnell in his Love Without Limits class, but we did not meet in person at that event. Later we learned that we have several mutual friends in Jules, as well as Chris Smith – both of whom have been interviewed here on Loving Without Boundaries. Kevin also lives near my old stomping grounds in the Philadelphia area, where I was born and raised. He also lived near where I live now in the Washington, DC area. What a small world! We even have very similar missions in helping show the world examples of others living a polyamorous lifestyle successfully, illustrating how the consensually non-monogamous overcome challenges and adversity.
Here is Kevin’s Bio:
Kevin’s an active member of the Philadelphia polyamory community and has been practicing ethical non-monogamy since August of 2002. In April of 2015, Kevin was inspired to start the blog Poly Role Models, an interview series for polyamorous folks that primarily centers honest representation and marginalized voices.
Some topics we discuss in this jam-packed interview:
— How Kevin has been non-monogamous for 15 years, identifying as polyamorous for about 5-6 years, made all the mistakes, and now helps others.
— How a threesome changed everything for him (and the following drive home in the car with his wife, the threesome partner, and two observers in the car).
— How he didn’t feel the need to express “toxic masculinity” and turn his wife’s boyfriend into a rival.
— How he noticed he and his wife didn’t have any role models that told them what they were doing was OK, so they hid it from their loved ones and friends.
— How people make mistakes in monogamous relationships all the time, as well as in polyamorous ones.
— He notes: “If I don’t want to communicate, I don’t have any relationships. If I can’t figure out my own emotions, I don’t have any relationships.”
— His well attended workshops and presentations on race and polyamory that he has presented at Poly Dallas Millennial and Poly Living in Philadelphia.
— His upcoming book, “Love Is Not Color Blind”, on race and polyamory coming out in April 2018.
— Finally, an episode on Poly Role Models where Kevin shares a personal cautionary poly tale.
Who is that man, Smithers?
Hi…I’m Kevin. I am a polyamorously married educator living in the Philadelphia area. I’ve been with my wife since Jan 2002, ethically nonmongamous since Aug 2002, married since Feb 2007, and poly-identified since 2013.
Why did you create this blog?
At a local meetup, a friend referred to my wife and I as role models because we were still encountering and actively working through new issues despite our long experience in ethical nonmonogamy. I thought it would be beneficial to shine a spotlight on working, successful polyamorous people/relationships without leaving out the imperfections that make us all works-in-progress.
What are you hoping to accomplish?
I’m hoping to profile individuals, couples, triads, quads, networks, polycules, etc. that, while flawed, are still practicing successful polyamory. First, to show others, who are interested in polyamory, that there are lots of people making it work. Second, to exhibit that polyamorists aren’t perfect or magical or free from struggle…just willing to get better and for themselves, their partners, and their communities. Third, to reveal the customizable nature of polyamory by displaying a variety of working configurations.
Why is (that one person) a role model?
I try to let that spell itself out. Every entry means something different to each reader. The basic premise is “flawed people making polyamory work”. Each contributor adds as much information as they feel is relevant to their experiences in polyamory. The role model bit comes in when you see your own situation reflected back at you.
There are profiles that have resonated *highly* with some users that don’t speak to me personally. Meanwhile, there are other profiles whose experiences, mistakes and relationship structure offer me new perspective on my own. So, in a way…each role model is only a role model to those who need that role modeled. If that makes any sense.
Thank you Kevin, for being so awesomely generous with your time, for your amazing work contributing stories and voices with Poly Role Models, and for sharing your thoughts, wisdom and insights with us via the podcast interview! It was informative, inspirational, and so fun! Follow his adventures and work at Poly Role Models, also find him @PolyRodeModels on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Lastly feel free to support his important and creative work on Patreon.
To hear the podcast, go to the Podcast link here and subscribe to the Loving Without Boundaries podcast, and check out Episode 70 with Kevin. Also, please help spread awareness of alternative lifestyles and create more tolerance for consensual non-monogamy in the world at large by Rating and Reviewing the Loving Without Boundaries podcast in iTunes. It only takes a few minutes.
If you would like to be interviewed either in written form or via audio on the podcast, please feel free to contact me and we will set something up. Thank you!
“Polyamory Weekly” Podcast with Cunning Minx
I recently had the honor and privilege of being interviewed on “Polyamory Weekly” Podcast with the amazing, lovable, and poly-famous Cunning Minx. We had a delightful conversation where we discussed about all things polyamorous, relationship snafus, how we are both the student and the teacher, and how jealousy can impact our relationships. Tune in to hear Episode 540 to join the conversation. You can find Polyamory Weekly everywhere podcasts are played. From the website: “You are not alone. Millions of people around the world practice polyamory and have successfully dealt with the same challenge you are facing now. Our goal is to share stories of diverse, inclusive poly experiences to help you on your journey. Use a keyword to search our 12-year podcast blog archives to find episodes, posts and comments on your current relationship question. We’re no experts—we make relationship mistakes just like you do. But we have 40 years of positive poly experiences and horrendous poly mistakes between us. We teach and speak globally on polyamory, relationship communication and BDSM.”
I also was stoked to be interviewed by Dan and Dawn of the “Erotic Awakening” Podcast. Dan and Dawn asked me some challenging questions about jealousy, how it affects polyamorous relationships and why, and other hilariously presented questions where we had a rip-roaring good time. These folks rock! Tune in to hear Episode 435 to join the conversation. You can find the Erotic Awakening podcast everywhere podcasts are played. From their website: “Dan & dawn share an aspect of erotic life – from “how to” sessions by well known instructors; interviews with highly regarded experts and presenters; event reviews from around the nation; to all of their erotic adventures!”
Lastly, I had the honor of being interviewed by Kevin Patterson on the “Poly Role Models” Podcast. That’s right, the very person that is interviewed here at Loving Without Boundaries. Collaboration rocks! A short but sweet interview, Kevin gets right to the heart of the matter of showing the world various examples of people living an ethically non-monogamous lifestyle – and the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all. Polyamorous folks make mistakes too. Hey, we’re just people without many role models! Kevin is working to change all that by adding a multitude of voices to help others feel less alone on their journey. Tune in online to join the conversation and see the video. You can find Poly Role Models online or watch the video along with the audio at YouTube.
Wishing you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)