Cheers Sexy People!
Happy Thursday, Loving Without Boundaries love train! I’m so honored to share my latest podcast interview Part One and Part Two with a new colleague and friend of mine, Ashton Applewhite, an activist on ageism! Ashton and I officially met when we were both waiting for our falafels at the dinner break last year at Consider This: A Day of Challenging the Status Quo in Sex and Relationships” in Brooklyn, NY put on by the fantastically cool, Effy Blue. What luck to get to see Ashton speak on stage sharing her amazing TedTalk with us with comments afterward. She is not only an excellent and powerful speaker, but she also is simply delightful in person. As we waited for our falafels at the Consider This event, Ashton shared with me the grueling preparation that she needed to do to memorize her 11 minute TedTalk that has close to 1.4 million views at the time of this writing. For those who are unclear, the easiest way to describe ageism is “Age is to Ageism what Race is to Raceism.” It is another form of prejudice that divides us and that we need to overcome. “A world that is better to grow old in is a better world for all of us!” Acceptance of our beautiful diversity helps us break down all of our perceived barriers, no matter what the “ism” we are facing is. How do we overcome various forms of social injustice? Well, Ashton aims to figure that out with her work! One of the things I also love about Ashton is some of the things that we have in common, such as we both like being in relationships with younger men (as well as older men!). I love busting myths about what we are “supposed to be doing.” If I followed that script, I would have a 9 to 5 job and be married to a man that is slightly older than I (or be home taking care of the kids, not that there’s anything wrong with that!). But both Ashton and I practice polyamory as well as have relationships with partners in various age brackets. We also both work from home as solo-preneurs. You so rock, Ashton! Please keep doing the amazing work that you are putting out there in the world! We need it to build a better world for all of us, no matter what our age!
Here’s the kickass intro on her website:
People are happiest at the beginnings and the ends of their lives. The vast majority of Americans over 65 live independently. The older people get, the less afraid they are of dying. Aging is a natural, powerful, lifelong process. So how come so many of us unthinkingly assume that depression, diapers, and dementia lie ahead? That the 20th century’s astonishing leap in life expectancy is a disaster-in-the making? Underlying all the hand-wringing is ageism: discrimination that sidelines and silences older people. So I’ve written a book. I blog about it. I led the team that developed Old School, a clearinghouse of anti-ageism resources. I am the voice of Yo, Is This Ageist? (Go ahead, ask me.) I’ve written a consciousness-raising booklet. And I speak widely. All tools to help catalyze a movement to make discrimination on the basis of age as unacceptable as any other kind.
Some topics we discuss in this educational, entertaining, and cool interview:
— The concept of “The older we get the more diverse we are” that Ashton shares in her amazing TedTalk.
— How we age socially, physically, spiritually, etc. at different rates.
— The older someone is the less reliable their chronological age tells you about what they are capable of, what is important to them, etc.
— We are all born naked and helpless, thus we all start out the same.
— Ageism is also towards young folk in that we make assumptions about someone based on their age. So if we assume that a young person does not know anything for example, that is still ageism.
— How ageism is really prejudice against our older selves, and increases our feelings of “otherness.”
— How denial is related to ageism as well because we are partly denying that we all will age (by practicing ageism towards older people), thus denying our own mortality.
— How we can make and sustain friendships of our fellow humans at all ages to create more connection!
— Our courage to talk to folks at various ages is rewarding and wonderful! Be brave! Go say hi to people you admire that are younger than you AND that are older than you.
— We discuss her U-curve of happiness concept, meaning people are happiest at the beginning and ends of their lives. It’s partly a function of how aging itself affects the brain.
— How we are all barraged by messages that aging is going to be awful, horrible, isolating and alone, and to dread it! This makes us ALL afraid of aging. Yet alot of what we fear is NOT inevitable!
— Ashton also lovingly answers some questions that came in from my community and even my family (from my sister, for example).
Thank you Ashton, for being so awesomely generous with your time; for your tireless work combatting ageism; and for sharing your wisdom and insights with us via the podcast interview Part One and Part Two! It was enlightening, energetic, and so fun! Follow Ashton’s work and adventures at thischairrocks.com and on Facebook and Twitter @thischairrocks.
To hear the podcast, go to the Podcast link here and subscribe to the Loving Without Boundaries podcast, and check out Episode 94 and 95 with Ashton. Also, please help spread awareness of alternative lifestyles and create more tolerance for consensual non-monogamy in the world at large by Rating and Reviewing the Loving Without Boundaries podcast in iTunes. It only takes a few minutes.
If you would like to be interviewed either in written form or via audio on the podcast, please feel free to contact me and we will set something up. Thank you!
EXCLUSIVE CONTENT OFFER – We continue to have some exciting goings on here at Loving Without Boundaries (LWB). We now have exclusive content for you via the LWB podcast and my Patreon page for those who choose to become a patron. Please visit the link to check out how you can come join the party over at Patreon! Want to hear more from our amazing interviewees? You got it! Want to dig deeper into the community and your fellow poly folk? Right on, let’s do it! Want free coaching sessions? It’s all there! Come join us, and enjoy exclusive content made just for you, our patrons of this work!
NOTE: Soon I will be offering a monthly group “hangout” and coaching call for all of our podcast patrons at any level that are above $1 a month. If you are supporting the podcast, I am supporting you on your journey. Come join us and meet like-minded folks on the same journey you are!
1) Free LWB Facebook Group for Healthy, Sex Positive, Open Relationships — Ready to explore healthy, deeply connected (and virtually jealousy-free) open relationships? It’s all possible – especially when surrounded by a community of people already doing it. Many in newly open relationships experience roller coaster emotions of jealousy, insecurity, and feel alone on their journey. That’s why I created this free Facebook group where people are coming together to share actionable tips for succeeding in multiple loving relationships, explore deeper love, and find mutual understanding and support. There’s an abundance of rock star information posted in the group daily by our amazing members. We create a safe place to engage that’s fun and thrilling! Click here and request to join our free group!
2) Beyond The Love (BTL) (Columbus, Ohio), November 9–11, 2018 — Beyond The Love is a 3-day polyamory convention in Columbus, Ohio, held yearly. They are in our sixth year and focus on education, workshops, social activities, meeting other polyamory people, and fun! From their website: “Falling in love is the easy part. But what happens after that? Beyond The Love’s mission is to provide an opportunity for the polyamorous community to come together in an educational and social forum. At Beyond the Love you will find a wealth of classes, workshops and mini events to learn tools, techniques and communication skills to enhance our poly relationships. We provide a safe environment for meeting with other like-minded people in a supportive and inclusive community. We welcome all those living a poly lifestyle or considering doing so. We are passionate about recognizing poly as a relationship choice and sharing common experiences on our many different paths. We hope you’ll join us and share yours!” NOTE: I will not only be presenting two workshops at BTL, I will also be the Keynote Speaker Friday night! Come join us at this fun polyamorous conference!
See you on the flip side, lovely community! Keep being brave, compassionately vulnerable, and uniquely and authentically you!
Wishing you peace, love and happiness
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)
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