Podcast Interview: Vanessa Van Edwards – Author of “Captivate”, Human Behavior Researcher

Cheers Sexy People!
OK OK this is one of the coolest podcast interviews yet with one of my all-time favorite HEROES, human behavior researcher and all-around awesome person, Vanessa Van Edwards! I first became aware of Vanessa’s work when she spoke briefly on the main stage of the World Domination Summit (WDS) in 2016 discussing body language behaviors that can help us rock our daily life. Then last year, I took her Science Of Happy Academy at WDS 2017 which was just totally AWESOME as well as super fun and informative. I was so blown away by the content as well as Vanessa’s kickass presentation skills that I introduced myself to her afterwards, got my picture with her, and then asked her for some quick advice to help me rock my first ever Loving Without Boundaries meetup that I was hosting that weekend in Portland, Oregon. She gave me some great advice, as well as a warm hug – and everyone loves warm hugs, right Olaf? 🙂 I’m super stoked to share this gem that just went live where we talk about Vanessa’s background ask well as her book Captivate that is being released TOMORROW, April 25th. This much anticipated book is just over-the-top awesome and I’m thrilled to have my copy in my hands.

Here is a description of the book Captivate: Use Science to Succeed with People

Do you wish you could decode people? Do you want a formula for charisma? Do you want to know exactly what to say to your boss, your date or your networking partner? You need to know how people work.

As a human behavior investigator, Vanessa Van Edwards studies the hidden forces that drive our behavior patterns in her lab—and she’s cracked the code. In Captivate she shares a wealth of valuable shortcuts, systems and behavior hacks for taking charge of their interactions at work, at home, and in any social situation. These aren’t the people skills you learned in school. This is the first comprehensive, science backed, real life manual on human behavior and a completely new approach to building connections.

In this amazing podcast interview, we discuss how Vanessa came to be where she is today, including what it was like growing up as a recovering awkward person and shy kid, and why she is so passionate about sociology and science. She also discusses her lightbulb moment that was the genesis for both her research work and for writing this book. She discusses what she means by “Being an amazing listener is not just about what you hear, it’s how you respond to what you hear.” Her research also points out that most people cite their friends and their partners as the people in their lives that they have the most difficult time communicating with, thus why her people “Decoder” and “Matrix” strategies as well as her “Solving The People Puzzle” work is so incredibly helpful in aiding us all better rock our relationships with all of the important people in our lives, including multiple intimate partners.

I thought this was fascinating from her book:

Personalities play a huge role in how we make decisions, form goals, and balance work and relationships. And we usually can’t control them. About 35 to 50 percent of your personality is wired into your genetic makeup. Your upbringing, another factor you have zero say in, also shapes you considerably.

Ever wish your colleague was more organized? Ever try to make your partner less of a homebody? Ever try to calm your friend down from worrying so much? This never works! We can’t alter people’s nature. Instead of trying to change the people in your life, learn how to decode, optimize, and predict their behavior.

Vanessa also goes into how to apply the theories from the Five Love Languages not just to intimate relationships, but also as a way to describe how to show appreciation for any important people in our lives, including our partners. Lastly as part of her research in creating this book, she also describes what it was like working with Samantha Hess, professional cuddler who created an entire buinsess around the physical touch love language. She hired her for a session and filmed it for her YouTube channel. She describes it as awkward and informative. Check out the video here!