Cheers Sexy People!
I have so much to catch you up on, I don’t know where to begin. April has been a crazy awesome and productive month for me and Loving Without Boundaries! This community gives me so much inspiration and encouragement to keep going with this revolution of creating change around the acceptance, tolerance and the availability of education for non-traditional relationship styles such as ethical non-monogamy / polyamory. I thank you all so much for that wind in my sails! I keep diving deeper and deeper into learning how to make this community be of more service to all of you, and I’m having a ton of fun doing it! The momentum that I have going right now is blowing me away, and I don’t intend to stop anytime soon (or possibly ever).
The beginning of the month found me working one-on-one with a hero of mine and mentor that I have been following since the early 90’s! You may have noticed the daily inspirational and love-filled posters that I have been creating for our community. I’m featuring a couple of them here if you have not seen them. They are being shared through the wonders of social media (Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest), so feel free to follow them if you like for an extra burst of “YES!” in your travels through life.
This past weekend, I had the outstanding pleasure of joining a business retreat in Utah that was focused on community, collaboration and connecting. Wow was it awesome! It helped me realize a number of things. I realize that being part of the right community can be absolutely life-changing to the point that it can change the trajectory of your life for the better! Pay attention to who you are hanging out with and associating with, and who you are letting influence you and your decisions. Make sure it is empowering and positive! And if you don’t have that right now, go find a community – even if it’s online – of like-minded people to share ideas with! Also nothing is better than meeting fantabulous people face-to-face in person, looking them in the eye sharing passionate ideas, giving them a much-deserved hug for their efforts. Nothing better! Make the effort to get out and meet people you find you have come to respect in real time. You won’t be sorry.
About halfway through the first day of the retreat, I had my own little “coming out” party – again. It never ends if feels like! We got partnered up with a buddy, learning about each other’s missions of awesome. My heart was pounding as my buddy was about to describe our mission here at Loving Without Boundaries. In some ways it was a relief to have someone else tell my story instead of me. She launched into it – immediately using the word “polyamory” to describe it. And I thought “oh no, we’re losing people right off the bat.” So after she spoke for a few minutes, I asked if everyone there knew what the word “polyamory” was, raising my own hand to try to encourage others to admit their ignorance of the term. Finally about 2-3 hands went up. Roger that! So my friend explained about multiple, simultaneous relationships practicing honesty with all involved, and I saw some lightbulbs go off. This friend is from San Francisco, which is a HIGHLY progressive, sex-positive area where apparently EVERYONE knows the word “polyamory.” But in my own travels and conversations, I find that maybe about 65% of people will admit they have never heard the word before – so I try to be really sensitive to that. That’s partly why I use the term “ethical non-monogamy” all over this site. That phrase is pretty easy to understand right off the bat. People also get the term “open relationships” – but I feel that is just too broad of a statement and for some, brings up the idea of it being a “free-for-all” – which is not what I personally practice. Later in the weekend, a different colleaugue (also from California) said when she hears the word “polyamory”, she immediately thinks “orgies” – and that she really appreciated me taking the time to explain in a very thoughtful and patient way that polyamory is more about loving, multiple, consensual relationships than anything else. Also there is not necessarily so much divide and distance between all of us – we are all looking for healthy, happy and loving relationships that help make us feel we “belong” – in whatever way that means to us. I felt very respected for what I’m trying to create in the world by the end of this life-changing retreat. Yes!!!! That helped me feel like I “belong” with these amazing people as well. The right community truly rocks! Go find yours! And I welcome you here.
To summarize some other recent events of note in my existence:
- Live-In Trial Run Week – That’s right, my boyfriend is living here at my home with my husband and I this week 24/7. It’s in an effort to see if we can really “do” this. Can we all live happily under the same roof, enjoy each other’s company, have me switch from bed to bed for sleeping arrangements – all while we see if everyone is getting their needs met? So far so good! But wish me luck anyway! I have to say, I really want this to work. I am in HEAVEN! Of course, it’s not just about me – there are metamours (my partner’s partners) to contend with, etc. One day at a time and I’m psyched for what’s to come, no matter what it is. Bring it!
- BmorePoly Events – I recently co-hosted my first polyamorous event at my home with BmorePoly and Barry and Cathy Smiler! I freaking loved doing it! It was so neat to meet local like-minded ethically non-monogamous peeps in my area. Hearing where each person was on their journey was amazing, and we realized how much we could help each other along the way, embracing the feeling of belonging and support. It was such a blast that I hope to host another leading what I think will be a freaking amazing workshop in late June. Watch this space. Especially those local to the Washington, DC metro area!
- Be-The-Change T-Shirts – Partly due to this recent retreat I participated in at Utah, there has been excitement and interest created around my Be-The-Change-You-Want-To-See-In-The-World t-shirts that I have offered in the past. I decided to go for it and have launched a new campaign with teespring so that all who want one can order these inspirational tees for themselves! In one day, we have already reached the minimum number required to print the batch. So order away if you like, knowing that your t-shirt will indeed be printed and off to you shortly. I set the campaign to run for 21 days in total to allow time for anyone who wants one to get your order in. Remember this campaign from teespring is just for a limited time! I own three of these shirts. The quality and comfort is awesome.
OK, kids, I think that is it for now, but hey – that was ALOT. There is much to catch up on! And so much more to come, I can assure you!
What say you, peeps? What has been going on in your world? What are you passionate about? What is making you smile? Have an incredible weekend. Thanks for being here, and thanks for reading my words that I share with you.
Wishing you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)
OMG, girl, you are on FIRE!!!! (And you ROCK!) I’ve missed checking in to your blog the last few weeks (long, boring story, just tied up with getting ready to move back to Austin, have been helping family in NM, now helping them fix up a house to get on the market, so I haven’t been at my computer much). And clearly whatever I did to try to subscribe to your blog way-back-when so I’d get notifications on new posts, I did wrong, bc I didn’t get anything. (If it involves technology, I’m sure to botch the job, haha.) So I’m glad I thought to check in.
Your retreat sounds awesome, and how you unfolded within it, despite your understandable nervousness and trepidation when it came time to share (which you described beautifully, BTW), is so inspiring. I love when we have one perception of how people might respond to something (whether it be our truth or something less weighty), and when we’re pleasantly surprised by a different reaction from them (like when the attendee admitted her misconception when she heard the term polyamory and how she appreciated you clearing up her misperception). So cool!
And WOW, hooray for the trial live-in run with your new love. That sounds fantabulous, and so smart. You really handle yourself and your life with such grace and wisdom. That is so thoughtful to try out the arrangement in that immersive way. That’s the only way you’ll know where the challenges lie. (And it’s exciting, too!)
You’ve got all good things going on, Kitty, and by so genuinely and authentically sharing them with us (the good things and the bumps that lead up to the good things as well), you spread more good in a world that sorely needs it. So a big hug and a big THANK YOU from New Mexico!!!
Your forever fan,
Hi Celeste! It is always great to hear from you and read your very thoughtful comments. Thanks so much for taking the time to share them with me and the community. You rock! I do feel that this past month was a great one for me. I hope to work hard to keep the momentum going as much as possible. Best of luck to you with the move and packing. I hate moving! Don’t forget we are connected on Twitter too, and I announce my blog posts there as well. 🙂
The retreat was indeed awesome. Thanks! I loved it! Every “coming out” is different and scary I find. But each time I go through it, I feel a little bit braver, so yay for that! Thanks for complementing how I described this latest experience. 🙂 And yes it is always nice to get the opportunity to educate and push aside misconceptions to shine a light on the truth of the matter. It is a privilege to do so.
Thanks for the “hoorays” on the trial-run with my boyfriend living with us. It was a fantastic and awesome week of love and laughter. There are three of us trying to make this decision, and we are all data geeks and nerds. So a trial run made sense to all of us. Though the heart wants what it wants, logic should really be part of the decision process too.
Awwww, Celeste you are so awesome and supportive all around. Thanks for being in my corner and cheering me on. I cheer you on as well with all things Celeste! You rock, girl!
What Celeste said! I don’t see any way to improve on it. Your Tee shirts look great. I’d love to wear one, if only I could afford it.
Thanks, Jim. I really appreciate it! Thanks for the complement on the tees. Take care. Thinking of you fondly.
I LOVE YOUR CUMMING OUT !