Hello Loving Without Boundaries Community!
You scroll through social media, seeing post after post about the joys of compersion. Stories of partners gleefully celebrating each other’s new connections make your heart sink. Meanwhile, you’re sitting with a mix of guilt and confusion, wondering why you can’t seem to access this supposedly natural ENM/poly emotion.
The pressure to feel compersion is real.
Maybe you’ve faked enthusiasm for your partner’s other relationships while internally battling uncomfortable feelings. Perhaps you’ve wondered if there’s something wrong with you because you’re not experiencing this “poly achievement badge” everyone keeps talking about.
You might even be questioning whether you’re cut out for ethical non-monogamy (ENM) at all.
Nevertheless, here’s something rarely discussed: compersion isn’t a requirement for successful polyamory, and it’s not a measuring stick for your polyamory/ENM progress.
Through years of supporting people in their non-monogamy journeys – and navigating my own relationships – I’ve witnessed countless individuals thrive without experiencing the fireworks of compersion that social media suggests we should all feel. In fact, even in my own polyam journey, I’ve experienced times when compersion felt elusive or completely absent, and that didn’t make my relationships any less valid or successful.
I’ve learned that authentic connection flourishes not from forcing specific emotions, but from honoring where we truly are.
Imagine releasing the pressure to feel a certain way about your partner’s other relationships. Picture having permission to process your authentic emotions without judgment. Think about the freedom of knowing you’re not “failing at ENM/poly” just because compersion doesn’t come naturally to you.
Furthermore, your journey in ethical non-monogamy is uniquely yours. Some people naturally experience compersion, while others grow into it gradually – and some may never feel it strongly at all. What matters isn’t achieving some idealized emotional state, but building authentic, honest relationships that honor everyone’s true feelings.
When you finally release the shame around not feeling compersion, everything shifts.
Your relationships deepen through genuine emotional honesty, self-trust grows as you honor your authentic feelings, and the energy you’ve been spending trying to force compersion can finally be channeled into real connection and growth.
Ready to explore a more authentic approach to your emotional journey? Let’s connect for a complimentary 45-minute breakthrough call. We’ll explore your unique relationship with compersion, unpack any shame or pressure you’re carrying, and develop strategies for moving forward that honor your authentic emotional experience. Together, we’ll create a path that feels true to you, whether compersion is part of your journey or not.
Book your complimentary breakthrough call here: https://lovingwithoutboundaries.com/apply
With Love and Gratitude,
Kitty Chambliss
P.S. Your worth as a polyamorous/ENM person isn’t measured by your capacity for compersion. Let’s explore what authentic ethical non-monogamy looks like for you!
KITTY CHAMBLISS, Master Coach (ICF-Certified), CPC
Relationship Coach | Speaker | Educator | Trauma-Informed
Author of “Jealousy Survival Guide: How to feel safe, happy, and secure in an open relationship”
