A free screening, a live conversation, and the reason I said yes to being on camera when every instinct told me not to.
Cheers, Beautiful People!
Let me be honest with you about something.
When the team behind “More Than Monogamy” first asked me to be part of their documentary, my immediate, visceral, gut reaction wasn’t excitement.
It was: what if this makes me “TOO” visible in this world?
I sat with that for a while. I know what it costs to be visible in this space. I know what it means to put your face and your name and your story next to a word like “non-monogamy” in a culture that still, in 2026, treats the way we love as something to be debated, dismissed, or dismantled. I’ve built a career out of serving this community — and I’ve watched the world get simultaneously more understanding and more hostile at the same time. That’s a real thing. And it was running in me when I read that email.
But then I thought about the person who doesn’t know yet that they’re allowed to live authentically.
The twenty-something version of me who had feelings she couldn’t name, desires she didn’t have language for, and no one in her world who could say “that’s real, and there’s a word for it, and you’re not broken. There isn’t anything wrong with you.” I thought about what it would have meant to me back then to turn on the TV and see someone — a real person, living a real life — talking honestly about loving outside the lines and thriving. Not in secret. Not with shame. Just… living.
I said yes for her.
I said yes for YOU, as you’re still at that part of your own story.
If you were with me back in March when I first shared this news, you already know the wild story of how this almost didn’t happen. (If you missed it — go read that post. The part about the NYC flood and Dillon attempting to get to my hotel through subways and underwater chaos is something I’ll never forget as long as I live.) For everyone coming to this fresh: Welcome. Pull up a chair. I have a lot to tell you.
What Is “More Than Monogamy”?
“More Than Monogamy” is a feature-length documentary — independently produced by three remarkable filmmakers — that goes inside the lives of real people navigating ethical non-monogamy (ENM), polyamory, open relationships, swinging, kink, and relationship structures that don’t fit the default script. It’s designed to be both educational AND entertaining. And it genuinely delivers on both.
The director is Dillon Birdsall, an award-winning filmmaker whose first feature V-Card won Best Documentary Feature at CineKink — the premier film festival for sexuality and adult content. He’s a graduate of Florida School of the Arts, and he came to my NYC hotel room in the middle of a historic flood to make sure this interview happened. That tells you everything you need to know about his dedication to this story.
Alongside Dillon: co-producer Urvashi, a UC graduate and creative director of her own erotic photography company since 2005, whose directorial debut Redemption was an award-winner in its own right. And Kama, a photographer with degrees in Sociology and Education whose life’s work has been shifting how the world sees sexuality — toward celebration, sensuality, and joy.
These are serious filmmakers. This is a serious film.
I’m in it alongside people I genuinely admire and love being in the “same room” with: Dr. Justin Lehmiller (sex researcher and author), Dr. Liz Powell (licensed psychologist and relationship expert), Kevin A. Patterson (writer and educator on race, sexuality, and polyamory), Kenneth Play (intimacy coach and sex-positive educator), Dirty Lola (sex educator and media personality), and Billy Procida (podcast host and sexuality commentator). Several of these brilliant humans have also been guests on the Loving Without Boundaries podcast over the years — including Dillon himself, who joined me all the way back on Episode 170 in 2021. And I recently had the joy of virtually meeting Urvashi and Kama ahead of an upcoming podcast episode with all three producers together — that one is going to be SO good, and I’ll let you know the moment it’s live.
Why Does This Film Matter So Much to Me?
Here’s a stat that stops people in their tracks every single time I share it: 1 in 5 Americans has engaged in some form of consensual non-monogamy in their lifetime. That’s as common as the number of people who own a cat in this country. And yet — nobody teaches us how to do this in a healthy, thriving, sustainable way. Not our parents. Not in school. Not usually in therapy (and if a therapist has ever made you feel like your desire for non-monogamy IS the problem — I am SO sorry, and also: not true).
At the root of so many relationship struggles sits one quiet, invisible thing: permission. Permission to question the relationship model we inherited. Permission to want something different. Permission to have an honest conversation about what we actually need — without shame, without apology, without shrinking ourselves to fit a box that was never built for us.
That’s what “More Than Monogamy” cracks open. Not by telling anyone what the right way to love looks like — but by expanding empathy, busting myths, and holding the door open for the person who’s been quietly wondering: could there be another way for me?
Whether you’re already living a non-monogamous life, curiously dipping your toes in, or simply want to understand what so many people are consciously choosing beyond the relationship default — this film is for you.
But Wait — There’s More. Come Watch It With Me in Person.
Here’s what I’m most excited about right now.
On Sunday, July 12th, a colleague is hosting a free screening of a 20-minute excerpt from “More Than Monogamy” right here in the Washington, DC area, followed by a live conversation with me AND with polyamory author and our host Natalie Davis. Two people who have been in this community, doing this work, for a long time — in the same room with YOU.
This is happening in celebration of Week of Visibility for Non-monogamy, and I cannot think of a more perfect way to mark it.
Details: 📍 Central Library, Bluemont Room (2nd Floor)
1015 North Quincy St., Arlington, VA 22201 (4 blocks from Ballston Metro — Orange, Silver, or Blue line)
📅 Sunday, July 12th | 1:00 PM – 3:00 PM
🎟️ FREE — no ticket needed for the screening
Who Is This For?
It’s for you if you’re already living ENM or polyamory and you want to spend two hours in a room full of people who just… get it.
It’s for you if you’re curious and a little scared and you’ve been doing your research alone at 11pm because you don’t know who you can ask.
It’s for you if you’ve been trying to bring your partner into this conversation and you need something tangible you can point to and say, “look — this is real, this is what it actually looks like.”
It’s for you if you’re LGBTQ+ and you’re tired of media that pretends you don’t exist.
It’s for you if you just want to show up somewhere and not have to explain yourself for two hours.
Bring a friend. Bring your partner(s). Bring yourself, especially if you’re nervous to come alone — I promise you, you won’t be the only one walking through that door with a little flutter of uncertainty. And I’ll be there the whole time.
Two Ways to Experience This Film
Come to Arlington on July 12th — RSVP through my Meetup group. Free. No ticket needed.
OR — watch the full documentary anytime for just $9.99 at MoreThanMonogamy.com. This is the kind of film you watch with your partner(s), with a curious friend, or honestly just yourself with a glass of something good and an open heart. Dillon and his team priced it to be accessible on purpose. Honor that by actually watching it.
There is nothing wrong with you for how you love.
I hope to see your face on July 12th if you are in the DC Metro area. 💜
With so much love, Coach Kitty
RSVP at my Meetup group. Full film at MoreThanMonogamy.com. Episode 170 with Dillon Birdsall available now in the Loving Without Boundaries podcast archive.
