Kitty Chambliss is a pen name that I use for myself as the author of this blog. The pen name is necessary due to the day-time jobs of myself and my intimates. Unfortunately, there is still discrimination against those practicing polyamory and ethical non-monogamy in the workplace and the world at large. This website serves to help create more awareness and acceptance for such lifestyles and those who practice them, as well as provide me with a vehicle to share knowledge that I have gained though my experiences and explorations being polyamorous.
I came to the polyamorous lifestyle somewhat by accident, but looking back, I was always polyamorous but did not know this lifestyle was available to me. I grew up in a Catholic school setting being taught that sex was dirty and only for procreation, that masturbation was strictly forbidden and that homosexuals were sexual deviants and therefore bad. I have spent much of my adult life undoing the damage that was done by this teaching in my formative years. It wasn’t until high school and college that I really started to question these teachings as not fitting my belief system and who I was becoming.
I considered myself a “cheating serial monogamist” for much of my dating life in my twenties and beyond, and eventually developed a distaste for the lies, secrecy and feeling of not being authentic that went along with it. When I met my husband-to-be, we both agreed that our previous NON ethical non-monogamy (aka “cheating”) was a behavior that we no longer wanted to engage in. We decided to manage our relationship and later our marriage how we saw fit, and not necessarily along the lines of what we felt society dictated that we do. If it felt good and healthy to us, we were going to write our own rules.
Eventually, a good friend introduced me to a book called “The Ethical Slut”, which is regarded by some as the “bible” of polyamory. I was deeply moved by the writings in this book, and shared it with my husband. It was quite exhilarating! We felt that we had finally found a text that described who we were, who we wanted to be, and how we saw our lives possibly unfolding.
After reading many books, blogs and articles on the topic of polyamory, I eventually met the man who remained my beau for almost five years. He resided with us at our home in Northern Virginia for over two years. Currently I am thrilled to say that I have a new love in my life, my fantastic boyfriend – who is sooo rocking my world! Yay! In addition, we also have a network of close lovers and friends of myself and my husband. Recently, my husband and I celebrated our twelfth anniversary of our first date, and are just as loving, affectionate and happy as ever. Life is grand, and we’re having alot of fun.
I truly believe that we can improve the quality of our lives by improving the quality of our relationships. I believe that at the end of each of our life journeys, it is love and the quality of our connections that we will cherish and hold dear to our hearts, no matter which path you choose to get there. Being vulnerable means knowing who you are and having the courage to share it with those you love. I encourage you to be uniquely and un-apologetically you, because when you’re you, it gives other people permission to be them. And that is one of the best gifts you could give.
Lastly, I believe in loving freely, honestly and openly and having sex-positive relationships if I so choose with my loved ones. I partly live my life based on the motto that “sex is fun and pleasure is good for you.” I believe in feeling love deeply and expressing it openly, and exploring where it takes me. I welcome others to learn and possibly share in the joy of loving without boundaries – if you so choose. Enjoy! 🙂