Let me save you some hard work and aggravation.
About 18 years ago, I tried that exact same strategy.
I attempted to be monogamous thinking that’s what “good girls” do.
I dated guys who also believed monogamy was their only choice.
I went to dating sites like match.com, e-harmony.com, and tried getting set up on dates by my friends.
See, I believed that if I just kept persevering with monogamy, then I would find my own Prince Charming who would fulfill all of my dreams and fantasies and every single need I would ever have. I mean, that’s what they tell you, right?
But what really happened?
Time and time again, I would end up cheating on one partner with another new partner seeking that “Perfect Sole Soulmate” thinking that there was something inherently wrong with me that I could not settle down and just be satisfied already with that perfect exclusive partner.
I even thought I could get away with it, and that maybe I was clever for coming up with this plan to fulfill all my needs.
And for a minute, I was able to even be monogamous for several years in a row – but that didn’t last because deep down this strategy and relationship structure just never really felt right to me and was not sustainable. Like ever.
Looking back, it’s like I was pretending to be monogamous. But that was really a lie. I was lying to myself and others I cared about.
I ended up depressed, disillusioned, hating myself and my lies, and wound up in therapy trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me! I worried…. would I die alone and confused about why life, relationships, and my sex life sucked so bad?
Then I asked myself ONE question…
What would happen if I stopped believing what society, religion, the media, culture, and all of the traditional hetero-normative, monogamous folks around me were saying…and started living life on my terms in a way that worked for me and my life instead?
I read about twenty relationship books, finally discovering “The Ethical Slut” and the word “polyamory.” Then, I shared this book with my husband and we spent two years researching the subject of consensual non-monogamy. We then went to a nudist resort and discovered a whole new world of happy and thriving folks practicing consensual non-monogamy – some of whom are our close friends to this day.
What an eye opener – as well as an exciting sexual adventure FREE from shame and guilt… finally!
And, within a few years, I was able to create loving, transparent, joyful multiple relationships, thus transforming from a not-good-monogamist to a polyamorist with grace… without losing my mind, my friends (mostly), or my dignity.
So why am I sharing this with you?
Because what I noticed as I work with awesome folks like you is that with some simple (not necessarily easy!) strategies and mindset shifts, it’s totally possible to build relationships with more than one person that feel safe, happy, and loving. All without the lies and deception!
You actually CAN BE your most authentic sexy self, liberating yourself from the pain of living a lie.
It’s more a matter of learning proven communication techniques, taking self-responsibility for both our emotions and boundaries, and thus find more peace of mind and resiliency to handle the ups and downs of openly loving and caressing more than one person (if that is who you truly are inside… a non-monogamous person).
It’s totally possible to truly connect with our loved ones in a powerful way, have great sex, and feel completely fulfilled. I can tell you that feels so great and rewarding – like a superhero!
I can assure you that can be your education, and greatest accomplishment. That’s why you do this work. To live your most authentic and best life.
Don’t believe me? Don’t take it from me. Here’s a comment from one of my clients that says it all:
“Ten weeks ago we began our LWB program. This week we finish. It’s not likely we would’ve made it thru COVID without Kitty Chambliss and her priceless gift of real insight and tools to help us find these healthy and helpful communication tools. Every concern we had about doing this type of work remotely over the Internet melted away after our first online meeting with Kitty. This is not a weekly counseling session, it’s much much more. Every week she provided us with hours of content, downloads and tools. It’s not too late to start again. This was single-handedly the best investment we have made in ourselves and each other. It’s much more than you’ll find in her book. It’s also content that you’ll have access to for the rest of your life. Is today the day or is it just another day? Make it the first day of the rest of your life.” — D.E.
Wow! I’m blown away by their success! I so HONOR their journey, and am so proud of them. They invested in their education, and got amazing and swift results. Let’s get that for you too…
That’s why I thought I’d open up a couple slots in my calendar to speak with you personally.
The call is totally free, and will last about 45 minutes and in it, we’ll talk about what is alive for you right now, what you’re struggling with, what you REALLY want in your relationships, as well as discuss giving you the tools you need to learn how to have thriving multiple, joyous, healthy relationships, and stay that way!
I invite you to book a call now at www.lovingwithoutboundaries.com/apply
You may look back on this day with a big smile months from now as being the start of a transformational journey for you! I’m so excited to speak with you!
With love and gratitude,
Founder, Loving Without Boundaries
P.S. So many of my clients are dancing in the streets, enjoy thriving relationships, even going out and buying commitment rings for their multiple sweeties. And you know what? This journey all started when they booked the same call I’m inviting you to book. If they hadn’t made that appointment, that one decision would have cost them deeply cherished relationships. There’s no pressure – book a call now at www.lovingwithoutboundaries.com/apply and let’s see how far we can take you, your relationships, and your life.