Podcast Interview: Sheffa Ariens – Marriage and Family Therapist, Kink, Trauma

Cheers Sexy People!

Hello, my lovelies! I’m happy to share my latest podcast interview that I recently released with Sheffa Ariens, a marriage and family therapist working in the North Carolina area. Her speciality focuses on somatic psychotherapy, working primarily with folks in the non-monogamy community, as well as the queer/transgender community and so much more! This interview was so authentic, beautiful, and even moving with many twists and turns. Sheffa, I so appreciate your valuable work in the community, serving those brave souls who need your compassionate work.

Here is Sheffa Ariens’ Bio:

Sheffa Ariens is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Durham, NC, specializing in non-monogamy and kink, focusing on how trauma and attachment affect individuals practicing polyamory.

Some topics we discuss in this fun, informative, and entertaining interview:

— Sheffa goes into detail explaining more about what exactly somatic psychotherapy is. HINT: It’s not just mindfulness, it’s so much more, including what you feel in your body to heal somatic trauma. Fascinating! 
— Sheffa explains more about what trauma is, explaining how it is when we get flooded and go back into the experience to try to resolve it, thus re-traumatizing it again. As we attempt to heal ourselves, we may move to fast and go back into the vortex of trauma.
— I share a personal story of when I noticed I was actually re-traumatized the night before I recorded this interview. I was able to relate the current day experience of disappointment to a deeply moving disappointment I experienced as a six-year old girl who felt that she didn’t have a voice.
— We discuss speaking compassionately to our young wounded child that lives inside of us. Our experiences and feelings are valid and part of what makes us who we are.
— Sheffa shares journey both through polyamory as well as her career path. Such a fascinating journey. Love it! She is so passionate about answering the question: How do we heal ourselves?
— Sheffa vulnerably shares that she suffered through infertility at one point of her life, and how devastating it was. She still feels residual trauma today even though she did eventually have a child. I can relate!
— She discusses jealousy as a form of insecurity, yet she highlights how insecurity is partly about safety and our attachment systems. It is important to have respect for what each of us are dealing with.
— Tune in to listen to this illuminating podcast episode!

Thank you Sheffa, for being so awesomely generous with your time, for your somatic psychotherapy work with our beautiful community, and for sharing your wisdom and insights with us via the podcast interview! It was enlightening, entertaining, and filled with so much wisdom! Follow her work and adventures at her website www.sheffaariens.com and on Facebook @Sheffa.Ariens.

If you would like to be interviewed either in written form or via audio on the podcast, please feel free to contact me and we will set something up. Thank you!

ANNOUNCEMENTS

GUEST PODCAST APPEARANCES

I recently have had the honor of being featured on three other podcasts:

Sisters of Sexuality Podcast with Taylor Sparks and Parish Michelle Blair – Episode November 21, 2019
Curious Fox Podcast – Episode 4 on Metamours (Your Lover’s Lover) – which was recorded live in Brooklyn, NY
Seek, Discover, Create with Lexi Sylver
Core Confidence Life with Dennis Sumlin
With PolyAnna, Episode 7 – which was recorded live at Southwest Love Fest 2019, which was attended by Marla!

Check them out! We talk about all things jealousy, consensual non-monogamy, and living an alternative lifestyle while maintaining healthy relationships. Tune in to find out more!

EXCLUSIVE CONTENT OFFER – We continue to have some exciting goings on here at Loving Without Boundaries (LWB). We now have exclusive content for you via the LWB podcast and my Patreon page for those who choose to become a patron. Please visit the link to check out how you can come join the party over at Patreon! Want to hear more from our amazing interviewees? You got it! Want to dig deeper into the community and your fellow poly folk? Right on, let’s do it! Want monthly “Hangouts” with yours truly and other patrons? Cool! Let’s do it! It’s all there! Come join us, and enjoy exclusive content made just for you, our patrons of this work!

NOTE: Monthly group “hangout” and coaching calls for all of our podcast patrons at any level are under way. If you are supporting the podcast, I am supporting you on your journey. Come join us and meet like-minded folks on the same journey you are!

UPCOMING POLYAMOROUS-FRIENDLY EVENTS

Free LWB Facebook Group for Healthy, Sex Positive, Open Relationships — Ready to explore healthy, deeply connected (and virtually jealousy-free) open relationships? It’s all possible – especially when surrounded by a community of people already doing it. Many in newly open relationships experience roller coaster emotions of jealousy, insecurity, and feel alone on their journey. That’s why I created this free Facebook group where people are coming together to share actionable tips for succeeding in multiple loving relationships, explore deeper love, and find mutual understanding and support. There’s an abundance of rock star information posted in the group daily by our amazing members. We create a safe place to engage that’s fun and thrilling! Click here and request to join our free group!

Poly Living Philadelphia, February 7-9, 2020 — Loving More’s Poly Living Conferences are focused on polyamory and open relationships; a place to learn skills, explore, and connect with polyamorous open minded singles, couples, triads & networks. I will be presenting my workshop “The Effects of “The Poly Closet” and Breakups on Metamours, Ex-metamours, and Pivot Partners” at the conference I recently found out. I look forward to seeing many of you at this wonderful conference in my hometown.

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Wishing you peace, love and happiness
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)

Kitty

Need more specific help aligning your relationships with who you are?

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Are you feeling a little lost, challenged, or uninspired in your relationships and would love some guidance on your journey?

Our Free Breakthrough Session Call is a great place to start your path of discovery, so you can have more loving and intimate relationships that inspire you! And our “Discover Your Path to Fulfillment in Open Relationships” coaching packages are a deeper-dive into the topic of self-discovery with alternative relationships, with a one-on-one guide to achieve maximum results in your life. Whether you’re already non-monogamous, involved with someone who is, or “poly-curious” and wondering if non-monogamy might be right for you, I work with people struggling with every aspect of multiple intimate relationships.