Every day, I speak to clients who are battling disconnection, confusion, and often loneliness. They feel so alone on their journey, because they’re trying to figure out by themselves how to navigate creating healthy, loving open relationships. Yet their situation just ends up getting worse and worse with each day, as the feelings mount – no one understands them, so they end up overwhelmed and isolated.
Did you know that LONELINESS can actually cause premature death? It is more damaging than other more traditional destroyers of health!
Let’s keep this in context with some comparisons…Living with air pollution increases your odds of dying early by 5%, being obese raises the odds by 20%, and excessive drinking and alcoholism makes early death 30% more likely.
Guess where loneliness falls on this spectrum?
Living with excessive loneliness increases your odds of dying early by – get this – 45%!!!
Forty-five percent, people!
We experience loneliness when we feel disconnected. Maybe we are pushed to the outside of a group that we value, or maybe we are lacking that sense of true belonging that all humans crave and desire. At the heart of loneliness is the absence of meaningful social interaction.
When we are coloring outside the lines of traditional relationships, the shame and stigma surrounding our choices can sometimes feel devastating. Maybe well-meaning friends tell us we are “crazy” as we dip our toe into non-monogamy. “That’s never going to work!”, they say. And when we suffer our first non-monogamy breakup, we hear the inevitable “I told you so”.
Who do we turn to for help and guidance?
Often, good folks end up suffering in silence, spiraling downward in their emotions towards fear, self-doubt, or insecurity. If this continues to go unchecked, they may start to notice aspects of their health failing, alongside more feelings of loss and confusion. This can be made way worse during the holidays, when stress is already high for many people. But family or friends are around, so they say nothing. This is how the vicious cycle continues…
Here’s the bottom line: Being lonely and spiraling downward with your emotions and your mental and emotional health can LITERALLY kill you!
Yet it doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to live this way. You can prevent social isolation, loneliness, and low-self-worth.
So why am I sharing this with you?
Because what I noticed as I work with courageous folks like you is that with some simple (not easy!) strategies and mindset shifts, it’s not only possible – it’s NECESSARY – to learn to take care of oneself.
And this is oh-so-important as we are heading into the holidays!
By first practicing radical self-love, and then taking responsibility for our own emotions, we can discover peace of mind and build the resiliency needed to handle the ups and downs of our multiple loving relationships, especially during this time of office get-togethers, family dinners, and holiday parties!
As the amazing Brené Brown says:
“True belonging and self-worth are not goods. We don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.”
That’s why I thought I’d open up a couple slots in my calendar to speak with you personally. You can join an elite community of action-takers carving out a better future for themselves, despite all odds.
I invite you to book a call now at lovingwithoutboundaries.com/apply
The call is totally free and will last about 45 minutes. We’ll talk about what you are struggling with right now, what you REALLY want in your relationships, as well as discuss giving you the tools you need to change your relationship with loneliness and insecurity. You’ll be able to transform how you feel and stay that way well beyond the holidays!
I invite you to book a call with me. Months from now, you may look back on this day with a big smile, knowing that this was the start of a transformational journey for you. I’m so excited to speak with you!
No matter what, I feel blessed and grateful to serve this amazing community, during this week (in the U.S.) of giving thanks. Thank YOU for being here.
With love and gratitude,
Kitty Chambliss, ACC, CPC, ELI-MP
Founder, Loving Without Boundaries
