Let me save you some hard work and aggravation.
About 15 years ago, I tried that exact same strategy.
I attempted to be monogamous thinking that’s what “good girls” do.
I dated guys who also believed monogamy was their only choice.
I went to dating sites like match.com, e-harmony.com, and tried getting set up on dates by my friends.
See, I believed that if I just kept persevering with monogamy, then I would find my own Prince Charming who would fulfill all of my dreams and fantasies and every single need I would ever have. I mean, that’s what they tell you, right?
But what really happened?
Time and time again, I would end up cheating on one partner with another new partner seeking that “Perfect Sole Soulmate” thinking that there was something inherently wrong with me that I could not settle down and just be satisfied already with that perfect solo partner.
I even thought I could get away with it, and that maybe I was clever for coming up with this plan to fulfill all my needs.
And for a minute, I was able to even be monogamous for several years in a row – but that didn’t last because deep down this strategy and relationship structure just never really felt right to me and was not sustainable. Like ever.
I ended up depressed, disillusioned, hating myself and my lies, and wound up in therapy trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me! I worried…. would I die alone and confused why life and relationships sucked so bad?
Then I asked myself ONE question – what would happen if I stopped believing what society, religion, the media, culture, and all of the traditional hetero-normative folks around me were saying…and started living life on my terms in a way that worked for me and my life instead?
I read about twenty relationship books, finally discovering “The Ethical Slut” and the word “polyamory.” Then, I shared this book with my husband and we spent two years researching the subject of consensual non-monogamy. And we then went to a nudist resort and discovered a whole new world of happy and thriving folks practicing consensual non-monogamy – some of whom are our close friends to this day. What an eye opener!
And, within a few years, I was able to create loving, transparent, joyful multiple relationships, thus transforming from a not-good-monogamist to a polyamorist with grace… without losing my mind, my friends (mostly), or my dignity.
So why am I sharing this with you?
Because what I noticed as I work with awesome folks like you is that with some simple (not necessarily easy!) strategies and mindset shifts, it’s totally possible to build relationships with more than one person that feel safe, happy, and loving. It’s more a matter of learning proven communication techniques, taking self-responsibility for both our emotions and boundaries, and thus find more peace of mind and resiliency to handle the ups and downs of multiple loving relationships.
It’s totally possible to truly connect with our loved ones in a powerful way, have great sex, and feel completely fulfilled. I can tell you that feels so great and rewarding – like a superhero!
That’s why I thought I’d open up a couple slots in my calendar to speak with you personally.
The call is totally free, and will last about 45 minutes and in it, we’ll talk about what is alive for you right now, what you’re struggling with, what you REALLY want in your relationships, as well as discuss giving you the tools you need to learn how to have thriving multiple, joyous, healthy relationships, and stay that way!
I invite you to book a call now at lovingwithoutboundaries.com/apply
You may look back on this day with a big smile months from now as being the start of a transformational journey for you!
With love and gratitude,
Kitty Chambliss, ACC, CPC, ELI-MP
Founder, Loving Without Boundaries
Founder, Loving Without Boundaries
P.S. So many of my clients are dancing in the streets, enjoy thriving relationships, even going out and buying commitment rings for their multiple sweeties. And you know what? This journey all started when they booked the same call I’m inviting you to book. If they hadn’t made that appointment, that one decision would have cost them deeply cherished relationships. There’s no pressure – book a call now at lovingwithoutboundaries.com/apply and let’s see how far we can take you, your relationships, and your life.