Cheers Sexy People!
Whoot! I’m thrilled to share my latest podcast interview with a super pleasure-based sex educator and relationship counselor, Kait Scalisi of Passion By Kait. We had the pleasure of meeting at last year’s Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit which I now go to every year. Kait has a Bachelor of Science in Neuroscience and a Master’s in Public Health in Sexual & Reproductive Health, so she is no dummy! In person, she is energetic, outgoing, bubbly with a huge smile and sparkling personality. On our interview, she brings that same enthusiasm and zest for not only life, but talking about all things SEX! Yes! A woman after my own heart! I have always loved talking about sex in all of its forms: The good, the bad, the “ugly” or wonky, jangly bits too. To me it is always a powerful conversation, and amazingly since I’m a recovering Catholic, I feel no shame in having those types of conversations. Kait feels a very similar passion speaking about sex, passion, creating rewarding and fulfilling relationships from all perspectives INCLUDING the sex aspect. She has a varied background that includes selling sex toys, considering becoming a doctor and then changing her mind, and many other twists and turns along the way. When she was selling sex toys, she realized that she was not just selling vibrators, she was creating safe places for folks to explore their sexuality, and she wanted more of that! OMG Yes!!! Part of her mission is to combat the insidious sex negativity we find in our world today. We are all sexual freedom fighters! Tune in and learn more about this fascinating woman! I am stoked to know her and her work, and I bet you will too.
Some topics we discuss in this educational, insightful, and fun interview:
— Kait and her partner are monogamous and were in a long distance relationship for first 8 years of their relationship. They tried an open relationship for a year when he was abroad and found it was not for them. Discovering what do you want and what do you hope for as a way to have healthy long-term passionate relationships can totally work, in Kait’s opinion.
— Kait believes our partner does not need to be the one we call first with great news — our best friends and other emotional connections can fill that need for us.
— There can still be leeway if it is negotiated in a monogamous relationship, such as being able to talk about if you find someone attractive.
— Most of Kait’s clients are monogamous, are usually couples, or woman typically in a relationship focusing on their sex lives to get their sex lives as passionate and intimate as other areas in their life to find their way back to freedom and pleasure. Nice!
— Kait believes in going to the experts and professionals when solving a problem and the concept of “rising tides lift all boats.”
— Kait is fortunate that he mother is super sex positive, yet Kait still had internalized shame around sex.
— Kait loves talking about sex and it has become a requirement in her life for her friends to be open to talking about it as well. Many of her clients don’t talk about sex with anyone else in their lives!
— She worked with cancer patients who wanted to talk about sex, and they were so grateful to be asked about how sex now fits into their lives. Many cancer patients developed various body image issues that need to be sorted out. This conversation is absolutely fascinating.
— Kait teaches a sex and disabilities class where they discuss the assumptions that many of us have about those with disabilities, and how practitioners can become better informed.
— We discuss grief as well infertility as extremely unsexy. The book “Come As You Are” describes a positive sex environment as “low stress, high trust, high affection”… grief does not fit in that structure. How do we normalize these conversations around sex and what compromises our sexuality? Kait believes in all of us finding the courage to talk openly about sex.
Thank you Kait, for being so awesomely generous with your time, for your sex positive work regardless of where someone is at on their journey, and for sharing your wisdom and insights with us via the podcast interview! It was enlightening, energetic, and so fun! Follow Kait’s work and adventures at passionbykait.com, and on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook @passionbykait.
To hear the podcast, go to the Podcast link here and subscribe to the Loving Without Boundaries podcast, and check out Episode 90 with Kait. Also, please help spread awareness of alternative lifestyles and create more tolerance for consensual non-monogamy in the world at large by Rating and Reviewing the Loving Without Boundaries podcast in iTunes. It only takes a few minutes.
If you would like to be interviewed either in written form or via audio on the podcast, please feel free to contact me and we will set something up. Thank you!
EXCLUSIVE CONTENT OFFER – We continue to have some exciting goings on here at Loving Without Boundaries (LWB). We now have exclusive content for you via the LWB podcast and my Patreon page for those who choose to become a patron. Please visit the link to check out how you can come join the party over at Patreon! Want to hear more from our amazing interviewees? You got it! Want to dig deeper into the community and your fellow poly folk? Right on, let’s do it! Want free coaching sessions? It’s all there! Come join us, and enjoy exclusive content made just for you, our patrons of this work!
NOTE: Soon I will be offering a monthly group “hangout” and coaching call for all of our podcast patrons at any level that are above $1 a month. If you are supporting the podcast, I am supporting you on your journey. Come join us and meet like-minded folks on the same journey you are!
1) Free LWB Facebook Group for Open Healthy Relationships — Ready to explore healthy, deeply connected (and virtually jealousy-free) open relationships? It’s all possible – especially when surrounded by a community of people already doing it. Many in newly open relationships experience roller coaster emotions of jealousy, insecurity, and feel alone on their journey. That’s why I created this free Facebook group where people are coming together to share actionable tips for succeeding in multiple loving relationships, explore deeper love, and find mutual understanding and support. There’s an abundance of rock star information posted in the group daily by our amazing members. We create a safe place to engage that’s fun and thrilling! Click here and request to join our free group!
2) Beyond The Love (BTL) (Columbus, Ohio), November 9–11, 2018 — Beyond The Love is a 3-day polyamory convention in Columbus, Ohio, held yearly. They are in our sixth year and focus on education, workshops, social activities, meeting other polyamory people, and fun! From their website: “Falling in love is the easy part. But what happens after that? Beyond The Love’s mission is to provide an opportunity for the polyamorous community to come together in an educational and social forum. At Beyond the Love you will find a wealth of classes, workshops and mini events to learn tools, techniques and communication skills to enhance our poly relationships. We provide a safe environment for meeting with other like-minded people in a supportive and inclusive community. We welcome all those living a poly lifestyle or considering doing so. We are passionate about recognizing poly as a relationship choice and sharing common experiences on our many different paths. We hope you’ll join us and share yours!” NOTE: I will not only be presenting two workshops at BTL, I will also be the Keynote Speaker Friday night! Come join us at this fun polyamorous conference!
See you on the flip side, lovely community! Keep being brave, compassionately vulnerable, and uniquely and authentically you!
Wishing you peace, love and happiness
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)
Need more specific help aligning your relationships with who you are?
** Discover Your Core Values & Create More Meaning in Your Love Life **
Are you feeling a little lost, challenged, or uninspired in your relationships and would love some guidance on your journey?
Our Free Consultation Opportunity is a great place to start your path of discovery, so you can have more loving and intimate relationships that inspire you! And our “Discover Your Path to Fulfillment in Open Relationships” coaching packages are a deeper-dive into the topic of self-discovery with alternative relationships, with a one-on-one guide to achieve maximum results in your life. Whether you’re already non-monogamous, involved with someone who is, or “poly-curious” and wondering if non-monogamy might be right for you, I work with people struggling with every aspect of multiple intimate relationships.