Cheers Sexy People!

In my line of work being a sex-positive, polyamorous activist and author, I very often get asked:

“How can I meet other like-minded peeps in the lifestyle / in the polyamorous community?

Well I’m happy to say that this post aims to answer that very question!

I have identified as being in an open relationship for over ten years, practiced swinging for about 1.5 years, and then specifically identified as polyamorous for the last seven years or so. I have tried many avenues during that time to experiment with meeting like-minded folks in the lifestyle community with varying success. Many people complain to me “There are no polyamorous people in my {insert small town America name here} area! Help!”

Do you know how many people in America identify as being in open relationships?

Screen Shot 2017-05-25 at 10.45.07 AMWell I’ll tell you! It is true that about 5% of Americans are in an open or polyamorous style relationship. So knowing the world contains over 7.5 billion people and America alone has over 320 million people, 5% is quite alot! As matter of fact, that comes out to over 16 million people who currently identify as polyamorous / in an open relationship in just America alone! So I hear you that you might find it challenging to find a poly person right next door to you. But could they be a short drive away, or even a long drive, or a short flight away? You bet! Keep that abundance mindset going and you will go far! There are also the poly-curious who might be in various circles just waiting to meet someone like you to “show them the ropes” or inspire them to jump off of the proverbial cliff that they have been contemplating. Living an alternative lifestyle can be scary or intimidating at first but feel totally right to someone if they just had a friend to hold their hand or have some frank, open-minded discussions with. I view part of my work as opening minds, one person and one conversation at a time. The numbers are only going up from here, my friends!

So here are my TOP FIVE places to find other like-minded Poly Peeps:

  1. FetLife and FetLife Forums (ONLINE) — FetLife is a social networking website that serves people interested in BDSM, fetishism, and kink. On its homepage, FetLife describes itself as, “Like Facebook, but run by kinksters like you and me.” FetLife distinguishes itself from competitors by emphasizing itself as a social network rather than a dating site. FetLife is not dedicated to any particular sexual orientation or gender; everyone is welcome. Fetlife has over 5 million user accounts and was launched in January 2008 by John Baku, a software engineer in Montreal, Quebec. I can personally attribute FetLife for introducing me to two of my poly friends: Wry from AWryPerspective as well as a great friend who lives in Canada and has contributed work here at Loving Without Boundaries.
  2. SwingTowns (ONLINE) — SwingTowns is a world-renowned, adult-only networking website and popular “sex-positive” lifestyle blog dedicated to providing original, inspirational, and motivational content that supports the varied interests, passions, and life choices of their very diverse readership. I just became a member today as well as a contributing author! Whoot! I am loving this website, mission and community! As one of the world’s largest poly, fetish and swingers networks, I’m so excited to see what happens next with this crew!
  3. PolyamoryNetwork and Other Social Media Sources and Forums (ONLINE) — Yes the old school stuff really works! Social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and also PolyamoryNetwork specifically for polyamorous people looking to meet like-minded folks – all of these avenues are rich with other lifestyle and poly folk. Specifically on Facebook, there are many forums similar to FetLife forums where you can join smaller communities to rumble with and run ideas by, and yes even meet in person someday at a conference, a meetup, or a date if you wish. Be brave! Reach out!
  4. Polyamory Conferences, National and International (IN PERSON) — Yes that’s right! Get out there and meet lifestyle / polyamorous peeps in person! There are excellent conferences around the country and around the globe for polyamorous folks. Conferences that I have been to and can recommend are Beyond The Love in Columbus, Ohio, RelateCon in Boise, Idaho, Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit in Alexandria / Arlington, Virginia, and I am great friends and colleagues with the creators of Atlanta Poly Weekend, and am familiar with Poly Living in the Philadelphia area. To keep abreast (giggity) of poly events around the globe, consider subscribing to the excellent blog Poly In The News by Alan MacDonald.
  5. Local Munches, Meetups and Workshops (IN PERSON) — There is a high probability that there are lifestyle munches / happy hours, general meetups and educational workshops in your area or at least in driving distance. You can learn about them on FetLife forums,, or your local polyamorous non-profit organization. Spend a few moments, do a bit of research, ask a friend to join you or meet you there and show up! So much of life is simply showing up with a positive and enthusiastic attitude! Go be brave, get out of your comfort zone, and meet some cool, open-minded, kickass people!

Click below to read my first published exclusive content article that just went live this week at SwingTowns! There is some quality, information-rich insights and ideas here that I would love to share with you, our Loving Without Boundaries readers!

5 Ways Polyamory Has Made Me A Happier Person


What about you? I’d love hear from you in the comments below about how you have met other lifestyle / polyamorous folks in your area, what you think about the article above “5 Ways Polyamory Has Made Me A Happier Person”, what you are doing this holiday weekend that you are excited about, or anything else that you’d like to share. Sharing is caring, my friends!

Wishing you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)




  2. There is another poly social site that you didn’t mention, Polyamory.Dating

  3. There is also a series of polyamory workshops, 4 times a year, that help meet and connect at a deeper level with other poly people, tie into extended poly communities, and develop and improve the skills that help make polyamorous relationships work out well:
    Polyamory For All Seasons:

    • sexyadventurer69

      Hi Michael! Thank you for adding this comment! I have not been to one of these special weekend events that you put together – though I desire to. Yet I did attend one of your workshops at the Beyond The Love conference two years ago. And it was absolutely fantastic and life-changing! Your work is incredible, and I loved having you over to my home to create our podcast episode. You are welcome back at any time! Also, please feel free to write a guest blog post here at Loving Without Boundaries to promote your events. I’m all for it! Feel free to reach out to me if interested in that kind of opportunity.

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