Polyamory + A Nomadic Life and LWB WDS Meetup in Portland, OR

Cheers Sexy People!

I’m so thrilled to tell you about a meetup that I recently hosted at the World Domination Summit – which is an amazing conference that strives to answer the question of “How to live a remarkable life in a conventional world.” This was my second year back to this transformational and hugely inspiring event. Last year I “jumped in the proverbial pool” and just soaked it all in, savoring every moment of the new experience. Close to 3,000 people attended to see the main stage speakers (think “TEDTalk” style setup on a gorgeous stage), as well as attend educational “Academies” and community building “Meetups” hosted by the attendees themselves.

This year I decided to jump in even deeper. I even applied to see if I could score a WDS Scholarship for Real Life for our community and mission here at Loving Without Boundaries. I seriously gave it all I had, writing up a beautifully scripted application complete with a personal video from yours truly. I was PUMPED to see if I could get it. I even made it through the initial round and got to the second round of potential recipients! WOW! To me that said that polyamory and ethically non-monogamous relationships are not only on the rise, but alternative relationships were on the radar of the committee at WDS! They were considering giving me a grant! Then I got passed over in the next round. Whomp, whomp. BUT writing up the application got me so inspired and pumped, I decided to pursue what I proposed in my app anyway – which includes going through a program to become a nationally recognized and certified relationship coach – putting it on a points credit card to fund it. I’m doing it and I love it!

But I didn’t stop there. I decided to see if could host the first ever Loving Without Boundaries Meetup and get it approved by the WDS Meetup committee, so that it would get promoted on the website and WDS phone app. I wrote up another (much shorter) application for this, and got my meetup approved in literally days. Yay! I was so excited. I selected the beautiful Raven & Rose restaurant as the location for my event (partly because I tried to find an open relationship inspired meetup last year at a park, and got frustrated because I could not locate the group in the huge park). I planned some activities for this networking inspired meetup, including having polyamory related questions for each person to discuss with their crew sitting near them during the luncheon. I was stoked!

I arrived in Portland on Tuesday and enjoyed several days of wine tasting with friends, academies, and welcome parties. Then Saturday rolled around and I was third row prepared to cheer on several of my friends and colleagues that were going to be taking the stage that morning (WOW! I feel pretty damn grateful and inspired that I knew some of the speakers at WDS – what an honor and achievement to take the stage!) As Chris Guillebeau greeted us with his good humor, he mentioned that there were meetups of all kinds and varieties for us to attend throughout the weekend. He said jovially that two of the first meetups were ironically a polyamory-inspired meetup alongside a Christian bible reading meetup! 🙂

What!? Did that just happen? Not only did my meetup get mentioned, but Chris Guillebeau just said the word “polyamory” on stage in front of 1,000 people! My “evil plan” is working – that moment helped “normalize” polyamory, creating more awareness and education to these world changers sitting in the seats.

YES!!!! I was so proud and happy. Whoot! I texted my husband and beau back home to tell them as my hands trembled just a bit.

So over the next 24 hours, I decided I needed to be even more prepared to make my meetup rock! I added a couple elements to add some fun and cameraderie to it, and prepared index cards with what I was going to open with. About 28 people were signed up so the event was past “full” and others were asking if they could be “waitlisted”. Wow! I had to double the initial reservation to accommodate the numbers that seemed were going to walk through the door.

In the end about 35 people showed up, which was great! We got a third table and stuffed more people at the bar. I wanted to help everyone feel safe in this new environment and community that we were creating. So I told everyone that if they had an anonymous question to write it down on an index card and hand it to me upon their departure. After I received the below question about living a nomadic life, I reached out to my friend Saul Of Hearts to see if he might want to help me answer it as he lives an off and on nomadic life. In contrast I own a home with my poly family as my homebase and prefer it that way (thus I identify as non-nomadic – just a person that likes to travel when I can with roots firmly down to return to). I highly value Saul’s opinion and feedback.

Here’s the question that came in and Saul’s response.

“How can polyamory inform me in how to have relationships while living a nomadic or semi nomadic lifestyle?”

I think polyamory and nomadic living are a great match. One of the things polyamory has taught me is to accept that relationships inevitably change over time. So, having a natural transition point (the end of a summer in a city, for example) can be a great opportunity to reflect on the relationship. Will things pick up where they left off on future trips? Will you keep in touch regularly, or just re-connect once a year?

I’m not interested in a fully nomadic lifestyle in which I date new people all the time. I plan to have a home base in Portland with a primary partner. But I like having partners whom I can visit in other places. I don’t try to maintain a “long-distance” relationship with these partners. Sometimes they become “inactive partners” (that is, we haven’t spoken in a while, but we didn’t ‘break up’, we’ll just reconnect the next time we’re in the same place). This can be a great way to explore relationships that thrive on short-term trips and travels, but don’t lend themselves to a domestic partnership.

That’s about all I can speak to from my own perspective. Colin Wright’s book on relationships is one of the best (and only) books that explores nomadic polyamory that I’ve read lately. Hope that helps!

Yes Saul that totally helps! THANK YOU for helping me serve our community by offering your insights and wisdom. You are AWESOME! I’m going to send this post to the questioner as soon as I hit “Publish” and I really appreciate your efforts.

Thank you also to all of the brave attendees who came out to the first ever Loving Without Boundaries WDS Meetup. And thank you to my awesome sister for helping me run the event. I plan to host one again next year! Come hang out with me in Portland, meet other inspiring peeps, and help change the world by creating awareness, tolerance and education around alternative lifestyles and sexual minorities such as us polyamorous folk. Sending love and hugs to you all! Lovely readers, feel free to share your thoughts and insights in the comments. 

Wishing you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)

Kitty