Cheers Sexy People!
How are my lovelies today?! Happy Friday! I’ve had a rather exciting week and I hope that you all have as well. I will get right into it by starting with exciting announcements so that you can put dates in your calendars and get pumped up for this awesome Friday. Then I’ll update you with details about my personal poly life and family.
ANNOUNCEMENTS OF AWESOME!
- I will be attending my second World Domination Summit (WDS) conference in Portland, Oregon gallivanting around the area from August 9–15. And I took the bull by the horns and submitted and got approval for hosting my first WDS Meetup for Loving Without Boundaries! It will be from 1pm to 3pm, Sunday, August 14th at Raven & Rose for all that would like to attend. It will be a fun, networking, social luncheon where attendees can get to know each other in a safe, friendly environment as we discuss polyamorous related topics that interest us. Consider joining us! I am so thrilled! And can’t wait to meet some of you there!
- One of my recent LWB podcast interviewees, Billy Holder (interview going live soon!) informed me of an upcoming event near me in Alexandria, Virgiania. It’s Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit, August 4–7. I intend to join Tristan Taormino’s Sex Educator Bootcamp at the very least on Thursday, August 4th. But I am considering staying for the rest of the summit as well. Anyone else interested?
- Calling all poly presenters! The next Beyond the Love (BTL) Conference is happening this November 11–13. The founders and organizers, Dan, Dawn and Karen are actively seeking applications from potential presenters. If you are considering submitting, click here: BTL Presenter Application and submit it by July 31st. I plan to! Feel free to ping me with ideas on what topic you would like to hear about, and consider joining us all at BTW this year. If last year was any indication, this event is nothing short of FANTASTICALLY AWESOME as well as fun! Come join us!
- On September 10 of this year, I will be sharing the stage on a panel with Janet Hardy (co-author of Ethical Slut) and my good friend Wry from A Wry Perspective (featured several times on our LWB podcast) in NYC, place TBD. More information at this link: Poly Talks and Wry Relationships: The Ethical Slut.
Announcements over [queue the xylophone tones signifying end of announcements]
Now back to…
The Life and Times of Kitty Chambliss and her Poly Life…
July 4th marked the thirteenth anniversary of the day I first met my now-husband for our first date after finding each other on match.com. We celebrated it in style: with him bed-ridden with the flu fighting off chills followed by sweats followed by nausea. Ahhhhh life. It happens. And you know what? We still had a lovely day. I had the bright idea the day before that I would get him a dozen white roses (his favorite) with one red rose (my favorite) in the middle – which is also my middle name (yup it’s Kitty Rose Chambliss). Thus that makes a grand total of thirteen roses – one for every year that we have had the pleasure of being in love, building our nutty life, and creating this crazy adventure as we go. He eventually made it down to the couch and we snuggled up to a wonderful movie, listening to the rain, thinking “to hell with the fireworks that might not even happen in this capital of the free world that we live in.” Then we went to sleep. It was AWESOME! I am so in love with this wonderful, kind, smart, thoughtful man. He just makes my heart sing, and has every day of our thirteen years together. And most importantly, he lets me be me, helps me flourish, and cheers me on in my endeavors. What a freaking awesome man.
Speaking of awesome men, my boyfriend is sitting next to me on the couch as I write this. He looks like a hot scruffy dork as we both pound away on our laptops side by side. We are both such complete nerds! And I love it. Finding your tribe is paramount in this life. My boyfriend and my husband are both SOOO part of my tribe. I picked my boyfriend up at the airport last night where he was returning from visiting his family (his wife, son, and in-laws). His father-in-law was having a rather scary surgery, and he understandably wanted to be there to support his family during this difficult period. He surprised me by showing up at the airport with the beginnings of a scruffy beard – thus why he looks like a “hot scruffy dork.” An exciting thing happened while he was away. He spoke about me to his wife telling her that I almost bought her a gift on one of my recent travel adventures, but I wasn’t sure how she’d take it, so I decided against it. She told him “that was very thoughtful of her.” So it’s almost like she spoke positively to me through my boyfriend. Baby steps! Maybe we are getting there. And maybe one step at a time she is accepting me into her life and family little by little, just as I/we are accepting my boyfriend into our family with open arms here into our home as he moves all of his belongings in. I absolutely can’t wait until he lives here full-time. We are shooting for the end of August to have him all snuggled up in our humble abode. Yay!
In just a few days, his family (wife, son and mother) are coming to visit for a month – two weeks here in DC, and two weeks on vacation at a beach in FL. To say I am feeling anxiety about this is quite an understatement. This will be the longest we will be apart since we met almost eight months ago. Certainly the two weeks he is on vacation in Florida we will be apart. But also I have no idea if I’ll be able to see him at all when he is right downtown with his family that are still trying to wrap their head around me being a part of his life. What will happen? Will I be able to at least have lunch with him when he’s working in DC? Will they take a bigger step and want to see where he’s living and I’ll get to meet his wife, mother and son in person for the first time (of what I hope will be many)? As the days tick by, I wait with baited breath to watch what unfolds. What a crazy thing this is sometimes, living a poly life, building a poly family, in a society that does not truly accept or understand… YET… I work every single day in my own little corner of the world trying to create change, tolerance, acceptance, and more love with less hate.
Speaking of more love and less hate, last week I posted this post in a Facebook Forum that at first I thought was appropriate as it promotes “Plural Marriage”. A woman there cyberly hurled mud at me for posting my article calling me:
“Adulterer!”
I then went and checked the rules of the group which included:
“all members will treat each other with respect and not resort to name calling nor labeling… This group is designed to discuss issues regarding POLYGAMY . Rules include: No profanity, No name calling, No Bullying.”
I pointed out that I felt a bit “bullied” and certainly was “called names” and “labeled” as an adulterer in this case. I definitely did not feel like I was treated with respect for expressing and sharing my views on loving two men, and what that is like. So food for thought. I asked one of the administrators to answer if they preferred that I leave the group, and if they could kindly better help me understand what the rules of this group were. No one has as of yet replied, including the woman who called me an “adulterer”.
This is an opportunity to point out that hatred, name calling, bullying, and lack of acceptance and tolerance of those different from us creates negative energy, bad karma, stuff that is not a good use of our precious time. Love and acceptance is where it’s at… love and letting go of fear… fear of those who live differently than us… those who love differently than us. Laws need to change to reflect today’s worlds, as well as the way we treat each other. My religion and how I practice it does not have to be your religion. We can co-exist in harmony. And not hurl mud at each other. I know we can.
What say you? Any thoughts to anything I have written here in today’s post? Do you plan to attend any of the events I mentioned? Do you marvel at my unusual family of myself, my husband, our two cats, and my boyfriend who is moving into our home? Or do you think I’m an adulterer and wish to tell me now while you have the opportunity? The floor is yours.
I will leave you with: Spread love, not hate. <3
Wising you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)
Kitty
Hello there!! Happy to hear all your great news adultress! (Just kidding-crazy that someone on a polygamy site is calling you that). Curious about BF’s wife- is she poly too or just tolerant? Did they start that dynamic while they lived together or after they began living apart? Are you his first serious poly relationship?
Am I too curious? Feel free not to answer-but there are so many ways into this way of loving- I am always curious about how people and their SOS get here!
PS-husband, me, our son and boyfriend moved in together to lovely country digs last week!!
Hello Clarathegreat. Always lovely to hear from you! Thank you for your comment and for these questions! I was wondering if some of this might come across as unclear and now I see that that is the case. And RIGHT? on being called an “adulteress” on a self-proclaimed “polygamy” site. OH the irony! 🙂
As far as my boyfriend’s wife: First off, I have never met her and only know about her and her stance from what my boyfriend has told me. So please know that this is all second-hand. But to the best of my knowledge, she is generally speaking a monogamous person. She is not dating anyone else and focuses her time on being a full-time mother with a full-time job as well – so I believe she doesn’t have the time – but possibly not the desire either – to date others besides her husband (my boyfriend) when they are intimate (sometimes they seem to me more best friends and co-parents to their child). They certainly have an unusual relationship that I am still working to understand. So I would say that she is mostly just tolerant of polyamory as well as me being in my boyfriend’s life. Without getting overly into it, my boyfriend seeing other people (prior to me) started when they were living together at one point years ago. Though my boyfriend has had other relationships before me – some that have lasted years – I believe that I am the first serious relationship – meaning that we fell in love and are taking serious steps such as moving in together to deepen our relationship. We are so very happy! I could go on and on! So I am very grateful that his wife is not only tolerant but hopefully has a growing acceptance of me and this blossoming and loving relationship.
Of course you are not too curious. I am on open book. All questions are welcome. I find my boyfriend’s situation quite fascinating and educational actually. I have never seen a marriage or co-parenting done in this manner before. Hopefully I’ll get him on the podcast someday and he can speak for himself (or perhaps write a post here).
And big, huge congratulations on your poly family moving in together and re-locating. Yay! This is in the New York area, correct? How far are you from Manhattan if I may ask?
xoxo
Kitty
We are in the only place outside of NYC where our family doesn’t even raise and eyebrow – the Woodstock, NY area! When we signed my son up for school and explained our deal to the admissions officer – she laughed and said, “You are NOT the most unusual family in this school”. So yay for us! I’m calling the synagogue this week to sign up Max for Hebrew School – I hope the rabbi feels the same way!
So glad you are happy!
COUNT ME I N FOR EVERYTHING !
Great! See you there I hope! 🙂