Cheers Sexy People!
Thanks to all of you who offered me warm comfort for my last post where I was seriously distressed about a tragedy that happened in my childhood home. It helped me heal and get much needed perspective, as well as move me forward with a positive, hopeful attitude into the holidays. The holidays were super hectic and super fun. As you might have guessed if you are in a similar situation, my favorite day of the entire season was our poly family – gift exchange night with my two loves. It’s just the three of us and our homemade Italian raviolis, using my grandmother’s recipe – and damn, my beau and I are getting good at it! I cherish the memories already, and can’t wait until next year!
I hope this post reaches you all after you had a wonderful holiday with your respective families in whatever configuration they happen to be. As we move into 2015, I think it’s a great time to reflect and think about what the new year brings, and what we would like to help make happen in the coming year with the road stretching out before us. Here’s my list – feel free to share any items on your list in the comments section below:
What I Will Try To Focus POSITIVE Energy On:
Grace – I have a friend who likes to pick a single word that she likes to make the year “about” for her. Last year, she chose the word “grace.” Well, I’m stealing it, girl! After all of the ups and downs that I have experienced over the last six years, I want 2015 to be about accepting life’s challenges with grace and style. I want to become a more gracious person, both to myself and to those around me, in both good moments and bad. How can I do this? I’m not 100% sure at the moment, but I aim to find out. Send me good thoughts or advice!
What I Will Try to PRACTICE Regularly:
Dealing with Anger Productively – For me, anger is an emotion I sometimes fear or repress, or alternately let out in a barely controlled rage. In 2015, I am not only going to give myself permission to feel anger when I do, but after I let the emotion flow through me, I will then really focus on trying to think of constructive ways to then diffuse my own anger. How can I better handle or positively influence those situations or relationships that cause me anger? Is it a calm, non-emotionally charged conversation with someone? Is it removing myself from a situation before it gets worse? Is it taking my own advice that I doled out here? I’ll keep you posted. There are many moments in my poly life when anger seeps in to my psyche – such as not feeling accepted or feeling discriminated against due to my relationship choices, or handling the challenges of time management or communication issues. The possibilities to improve are endless.
What I Will NOT TOLERATE:
Dealing with Other People’s Negativity and Refusal To Grow – I have found that at times, we all have “toxic” people in our lives – people who suck our energy right out. People who don’t support our goals and dreams. People who don’t stand beside us in challenging times to lend a hand or an ear. People who frankly just suck sometimes (pardon my French). You know who they are in your life. Can you diminish their negative effect on you? You betcha! I plan to continue to try to spend more time with people who inspire me and say positive things, and less time with people who talk smack about everyone around them, blaming everyone else for their problems. I appreciate people who can take responsibility for their lives, own their mistakes, and make a commitment to themselves and others to grow in a positive direction, instead of wallowing (too long anyway) in self-pity and blame on others, including their own friends and family. Who’s with me?
I also have Three Awesome Announcements:
- Stories From The Polycule Book: Days ago, I submitted an entry to (hopefully) be published in the upcoming book, Stories From The Polycule. I enjoyed writing it and submitting it for review and collaborating with the author Elisabeth Sheff. I’m stoked to also read the other submissions, as I have already helped support our polyamorous community and education by pre-ordering my own copy. They are still seeking submissions and accepting them until January 15, 2015. Do you have a poly-friendly story to share, or artwork or a poem that you would love to have displayed in this upcoming literature? There is still time! I encourage and invite you to participate! Sharing is caring and helps all of us!
- The International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Nonmonogamy – It’s official – I will be the first speaker in the Public Education section of the The International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Nonmonogamy, set in Berkeley, California on Saturday, February 14th at 9am PST. How ironic that it falls on Valentine’s Day! Haha! I can’t wait for my first public speaking engagement as my alter ego, Kitty Chambliss. Tickets are still available! And it sounds like they have great educational and artistic events available all weekend, including a non-monogamy themed art show on Friday night. I can’t wait! Whoot, whoot!
- Inspirational, Poly-Friendly T-shirts Offered – Some of you may remember that I created and offered to you, my readers, my very first T-shirt design here at Loving Without Boundaries. Some of you even bought some! I bought five and gave them to all of my immediate poly family, including one for myself. And I flipping love it! I plan to create more inspirational, poly-friendly T-shirts throughout the year here. I will also add a tab on my website here where the collection will be available at any time for any of you to buy for yourself or others. I am all about spreading love, positive thoughts and good vibes across this big blue marble we call Earth. Why not have some cool swag to go exploring in at the same time? Ya gotta wear something, unless you are at a naked party with your close, sexy friends! Haha!
How about you? Any fun goals or exciting plans or dreams for 2015? Any comments or suggestions to anything that I mentioned above? I’d love to hear if you would like to share with us.
Wishing you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)
I like that word for the year idea. I’ll have to think on that. Although, lol, I think I use “think on that” to procrastinate when I should be taking care if myself. So maybe my word is “now”.
Isn’t that “word for the year” idea great? I’m totally stealing the whole concept. I think it’s awesome. “Now” sounds like a fine word to focus on. Haha! Have fun!
I have been following you for quite a while and while your posts are inspirational, many times I am left utterly confused. You speak of your ups and downs with your BF more you do with your husband. Does this mean your married life is that perfect or do you feel your audience wants to hear more about your and your BF? I am seeing many of my poly friends lean more on their BF or GF more than they do their spouse. Can you reflect on that more in some of your articles?
I absolutely will do that. I will dedicate my next post to this and in answering your question. I am curious though: my last post where you submitted this comment, there was no mention of either my husband or my boyfriend (besides my comment that my beau and I are getting damn good at making raviolis and that the three of us exchanged presents for the holidays). So that I can better address your question, what was confusing about this post in that regard? Or was your comment just a general one (not necessarily aimed at this post?
Thanks either way for reading my blog, your compliment and your contribution to the conversation here.
Just a thought in passing. No one seems to really discuss that area, and I would like to understand it so I can be more supportive to my poly friends. Thank you.
I highly appreciate (as I’m also sure your friends do) your efforts in beung supportive of your poly friends. 🙂
Here you go!