Cheers Sexy People!
I have MUCH to tell you! It has been an exciting, busy and fun-filled couple of weeks. I am writing you from Provincetown, MA where I attended and participated in my first gay wedding. And wow, what a magical, fun and thought-provoking weekend it was. The wedding was for a friend of mine that I have had for over 25 years. He “came out” to me as gay over a decade ago (I had already suspected anyway). I of course, was very accepting and happy for him. I felt close to him at the time that he was comfortable enough to confide in me his sexual orientation and true identity once he had figured it out for himself (he was in his mid-thirties at the time). A little over a year ago, he finally met his true love, and they married quietly at their residence last fall after their county had legalized gay marriage. This weekend was the official celebration of their marriage in Provincetown, MA – a city which is known not only for its tolerance, but true acceptance of homosexual relationships. Everywhere you look, there are men holding hands, as well as women openly cuddling together – complete with T-shirts proudly displayed that say things like “I Love My Two Dads” etc. It’s wonderful to see such open arms to the gay community, in contrast to the hatred often seen in other parts of the country (and world).
The culmination of the (monogamous) marriage celebration was the groom and the groom riding down the main drag of Provincetown’s Commercial Street, in broad daylight on a gorgeous day, riding bikes side by side strewn with very loud tin cans, and a “Just Married” sign tying the two bikes together. It was such a wonderful spectacle to see, that I felt so privileged to witness! My friend asked us all to make a “fuss” over them and take lots of pictures as they proudly announced their marriage to this wonderful, accepting, quaint Cape Cod town. It is hard to describe the feelings of running alongside them, laughing and cheering for them, as the passerbys on the street, smiled, applauded and yelled “Congratulations!” to the happy, joyous couple. The fact that they can do this today and openly celebrate their union so eloquently demonstrates how far we have come as a nation and a population, accepting different kinds of relationships… as long as they are monogamous… hmmmmm…
I tried to push my feelings temporarily aside so that I could truly be exuberantly happy for one of my best friends, and his new groom. But it is hard to forget that only two days earlier, I had celebrated my four year anniversary with my boyfriend behind closed doors. I uploaded pictures of the gorgeous flowers that he gave me for our anniversary to Facebook, not stating who gave them to me, or honoring my relationship with my boyfriend openly to the public. Many people who I am close to have no idea that I adore and love this man, just as I do my husband. I have not “come out” to my newly married, gay friend as polyamorous for a number of reasons (though I plan to soon). Why? Partly because I am not certain how he will take it, since it has taken him his entire life to find monogamous love in his own alternative relationship. How will he feel, and will he be truly accepting of ME and my relationship with both my husband and my boyfriend simultaneously. And when will the world at large allow me to openly proclaim my love for my boyfriend and my husband, cheering down the street that I love TWO men? How far away is that day? I have no idea, but this blog is here to help in my own little way to carve the path out for that to happen. I hope that sometime in my lifetime, I don’t feel the need to write this blog anonymously, and I too can proclaim my love out loud and proud for everyone to not only see, but to cheer, as they cheered for the happy gay couple in the streets of Provincetown. And what a wonderful day that will be…
Last night, for some levity and to truly immerse ourselves in the joyousness that is P’Town, we all went to see Snow White and the Seven Bottoms. It was absolutely HILARIOUS, irreverent and excellent fun. I highly recommend seeing it if you have the chance. It is officially going to New York City, and will be there until about October 26th (maybe they will extend it!). It has gorgeous costumes, gay sex, heterosexual sex, puppets, wonderful tunes, slapstick comedy and every other wonderful thing that you would want to see if you want to be entertained and have an open mind. At several points, I was laughing so hard, I nearly fell out of my seat. They also did a fantastic job of ad-libbing when it was needed. Don’t walk, run to the theatre if you can, and see this play that once again celebrates all kinds of sex, as well as alternative relationships and adult humor.
For some more levity, please enjoy this comedy skit that one of the guests at this weekend’s wedding told us about. I identified with it at this gorgeous, well thought-out wedding with amazing food and awesome entertainment (including me, as I sang three songs for the happy couple with my sister, which was an absolute pleasure):
How about you? Have you attended a gay marriage celebration as of yet? What are your thoughts on if and when polyamorous relationships should be recognized and how? Do you feel “in the closet” about your “extra” relationships? Please share!
Wishing you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too)
Kitty
(P.S. the photo here was taken by us last night of the sunset we were fortunate enough to witness – one of the best I have ever seen).
______________________________________________________________
Need more specific help aligning your relationships with who you are?
** Discover Your Core Values & Create More Meaning in Your Love Life **
Are you feeling a little lost, challenged, or uninspired in your relationships and would love some guidance on your journey?
Our Free Breakthrough Session Call is a great place to start your path of discovery, so you can have more loving and intimate relationships that inspire you! And our “Discover Your Path to Fulfillment in Open Relationships” coaching packages are a deeper-dive into the topic of self-discovery with alternative relationships, with a one-on-one guide to achieve maximum results in your life. Whether you’re already non-monogamous, involved with someone who is, or “poly-curious” and wondering if non-monogamy might be right for you, I work with people struggling with every aspect of multiple intimate relationships.
Wow so very very cool! I actually have an experience to share! This past June 14th. I had the honor to leave the Great state of Texas, (where Gay marriage is not recognized) and travel to Albuquerque New Mexico and actually perform the wedding ceremony (I participated in online ordination) for my oldest daughter and my new daughter in law! It was the most amazing thing and if you can believe it, I didn’t cry. This daughter who came out about her sexual orientation during highschool is the first person I came out to as being poly! I did cry then, and she laughed and said Mom, you are trying to tell me that you are living an alternative lifestyle…. why would I of all people be judgmental… I live an alternative lifestyle! I know how hard it is, I understand those who don’t get it. She has been the most supportive. Kitty thanks for sharing and I too wait for the day that I can openly share my two loves with the world!
Thanks for sharing, Angel Barbie. What a great story! And what a fantastic experience that you got to have marrying your gay daughter! My gay friend who just got married also was Internet / online ordained and married my husband and I eight years ago next month. At the time, we did not identify as polyamorous, as I didn’t even know what that word was. But we knew at the very least that we wanted a different kind of marriage. So we wrote our own vows. I wonder how many people in attendance – including my gay friend – realized there was no “and forsake all others” in our wedding vows. 🙂 Please tell your daughter hi from me. And that I am proud of her (and of you!)
Thank you for sharing that. I know it’s hard, but hopefully your friend will understand. I choose to believe that the people I love and care about will love me no matter whom I choose to love. The fear of rejection is still real, but so far they have all been supportive when I have “come out” about similar tough conversations. The only reason my partner and I haven’t been totally out of the poly closet is because we haven’t met a guy we were sure of wanting to be our third yet.
You are most welcome! It truly is a fantastic story that I am proud to share. I am so happy for them and their “outness” and ability to get married. I do hope that when I do come out to my friend, he will be just as accepting I was of him. I have learned that timing is important. So as I watch them celebrate their love for one another (and in a monogamous way), I do feel that I should not steal their spotlight of this momentous and joyous occasion. Some quiet time in the future, I will take a deep breath, and once again “jump in the coming out pool” and tell my non-monogamous story to yet another friend. Thanks for the well wishes and the encouragement. Good luck to you as well on your journey! And stay in touch.
You know, my heart swells with your eloquent writing of this event. And its effect on your inner life. I am planning a wedding for a friend who is bringing his love to the states from the Philippines this year. They have requested immigration to allow them to unite here in the United States for the purpose of marriage. It is written in the visa request. He will then have dual citizenship. He will be one of the first to be brought to the States for gay marriage. Wow. My heart is full. I look forward to the time when our area is like Provincetown. It sounds like it was magical and what being alive is all about. Thanks for your article and loving presence.
Wow, thank YOU for this fantastic message that warms MY heart! I was so happy to read it! It has made me very happy. My heart swells as well (and of course thank you for the compliment on my writing). Please give my congratulations and my love to your friends who are getting married in the States. You described it perfectly: yes it was “magical and what being alive is all about.” That was perfectly stated. I am happy to be here and to spread the word of free love. Keep on being awesome, and kindly spread the word in your neck of the woods. xoxo
Awww, shucks, thank you! I’ve been blogging for 2.5 years now. I appreciate the kind words.