Don’t Dream It, Be It – When Three Isn’t A Crowd

Cheers Sexy People,

“Don’t Dream It, Be It” is a quote I personally love from one of my favorite cult classic movies, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I was an impressionable 16 years old the first time that I saw it at the Theatre of the Living Arts (TLA) movie theatre on South Street in Philadelphia. I was so excited to see this “crazy, unusual movie” with its interactive audience participation and overt sexuality. I was somewhat repressed and going to Catholic school at the time, so expanding my mind and doing things that were even slightly naughty (like seeing a midnight showing of a “not approved of” movie) was right up my alley.

Little did I know at that young age that elements from the RHPS would help start me on a long journey of discovery, questioning what I was being taught, keeping my mind open to possibilities, marching to the beat of my own drum, embracing myself even if I didn’t “fit in” with the rest of the class… what can I say… I fell in love… in more ways than one. Actually, the first time my husband and I “came out” as polyamorous was to my sister at a Rocky Horror inspired, live musical event that she and I created. My boyfriend is in the performance with me, and my husband brought a date with him to see us all enjoy our creation together as we do The Time Warp yet again and “give ourselves over to absolute pleasure” in front of a live audience. Lucky thing we did too as otherwise my sister might have been quite confused and alarmed when she saw my husband kissing his date later that evening.

We recently performed our famed Rocky Horror live musical event this past Friday night and I had the pleasure of meeting three of my readers who are in a triad. Hiiiiiiiii!  🙂   It was a joy to meet you in person. It was such a joy that I had to grab your boyfriend and start boogying with him on the dance floor in my sequin-bedazzled, corset’ed attire to share my pleasure! Also at the event were two of my friends who just recently got married and are now “husband and husband.” I am so proud and happy for them. Ironically, I have not “come out” to them as polyamorous yet, partly because I haven’t had the opportunity, but also partly since they are newly married and I’m assuming monogamous, I am not sure how they will react. I will give the same sex newlyweds some time and find the right moment to come out to them later. Hopefully, given all that I have learned so far, I will time it right, use the right words and they will be accepting, as I was accepting when this good friend came out to me as gay nearly a decade ago now.

As most of you know, one of the main reasons that I do this blog is to increase education and awareness for polyamory, while sharing my story and experiences with you. Polyamory has been getting increasing coverage lately in the media. CNN just wrote an article that I would like to share with you. They interview several different polyamorous families, some similar to mine. Here is an excerpt with some key thoughts that I think are important to share and that I relate to, and below is the link to the full article for your reading pleasure.

“We’re not trying to say that monogamy is bad. We’re trying to promote the fact that everyone has a right to develop a relationship structure that works for them.”

“[Polyamory] takes a lot of work and it’s not for everybody.” That’s a common refrain from long-practicing polys. Jealousy among partners is one thing, but they also face or fear disapproval from neighbors, relatives and coworkers.

Marching in the [pride] parade for the fourth year is just one way they’re trying to promote public acceptance of polyamory. Someday, they want to challenge laws that criminalize adultery and cohabitation, Mullins said. “We want to promote the idea that any relationship is valid as long as it is a choice made by consenting adults,” he said. “In this regard, and as in most things, promoting public acceptance is the first step.” Even among a crowd as colorful as the Pride Parade, the giggles and questions suggest polyamory is still a way of life that’s on the fringes.

“Polyamory is the nonpossessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously,” it said.

“Polyamory is not a swing club or group.”

“Polyamory is not about recreational or promiscuous sex.”

“Polyamory is not for sissies.”

“It’s not cheating or swinging,” he said, because everyone knows about other partners, whom Mark calls his girlfriends. “There is a level of intimacy and emotional attachment that makes them more than friends with benefits or one-night stands,” he said. “I’m more involved in their lives and more aware of their inner thoughts or aspirations; I’m more involved in their long-term happiness. It’s like having a regular, monogamous relationship but having more than one of them.”

Many poly people stay closeted out of fear of discrimination, social alienation or because they simply prefer privacy, sociologist Elisabeth Sheff writes in her forthcoming book “The Polyamorists Next Door.” But her research led her to believe that polyamory is a “legitimate relationship style that can be tremendously rewarding for adults and provide excellent nurturing for children.”

Making it work, she acknowledges, is “time-consuming, and potentially fraught with emotional booby traps,” she writes. It can be rewarding for some “and a complete disaster for others.”

…They just want to feel free to have relationships currently outside the norm without being judged as freaks or outcasts.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/26/living/relationships-polyamory/?iref=obinsite

My husband, boyfriend and I just recently got back from a magnificent vacation that we were on with some of our close friends, including my sister, who accept us exactly as we are. I am doing my very best to “Don’t dream it, be it” in my everyday life. Be the example that you hope to see in the world.

Happy Halloween, readers!

Wishing you love, peace and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)

Kitty