Cheers Sexy People!
As a follow up to my recent blog posts about “Coming Out”, I wanted to share with you this brilliant blog entry that I found recently that uses a metaphor to help describe what it can feel like to try to explain polyamory. To those of us who practice polyamory and identify as polyamorous, it can feel to us very natural and innate to who we are. But when it comes to talking about it with others who may not be “wired” the same way, what seems natural to us may seem very strange and confusing to them. It can be a challenge to come up with the right words, metaphors and descriptive language to explain this alternative relationship choice that is available to those who seek it. I hope someday that being polyamorous will be accepted in society at large as much as being monogamous, but we simply aren’t there… yet. In the meantime, please enjoy a little humor to add to your day. Ponder this…
One day you tell them that you’re not really into soccer, but you are a sports fan.
“What do you mean, you don’t like soccer? What other sport is there?”
“Well, I like basketball. I play on a local team.”
“Basket ball? What’s that?”
“Well, players try to get a ball into the other team’s basket.”
“Ok, I follow. Like soccer.”
“Yeah, except you bounce the ball with your hands instead of using your feet.”
“Wait, what? You mean you can CHEAT?”
“No, it just has different rules.”
“What do the other players think about that?”
“Well, they all play by the same rules.”
“Maybe you just didn’t commit to soccer. It takes a lot of hard work.”
“So does basketball. It’s really difficult.”
“But it’s just basically permission to cheat. I just couldn’t do that. Sorry.”
“Well, I don’t like playing soccer. Basketball is closer to my skill set and I find it much more exciting and intimate to play. I love watching the game because it’s more fast paced and suits me better.”
“I just couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if the other players were allowed to use their hands like that. I couldn’t do it.”
“Well, it takes skill, but you realize you’d be able to use your hands too, right?”
“Yeah, but I wouldn’t want to. I prefer only using my feet to kick the ball. I couldn’t do it any other way. I just couldn’t.”
“Nobody is making you. We just like different things.”
“Okay, but please don’t talk about this basket ball thing around my soccer friends. It might make them feel weird.”
And this is what it is like to talk to some people about polyamory.
Here is the original link to this post for further exploration:
I think this is pretty hilarious. And indeed yes, sometimes you don’t even tell people that you “play basketball”, because it might be perceived as a freakish sport, and you must be off your rocker for playing it. Deciding who to tell can be an art (or simply black and white if you think it’s foolish to tell say… people in your workplace who might discriminate against you detrimentally).
What about you? Any thoughts on trying to explain polyamory to your friends and family? What was your perception of how it went, or do you have a funny anecdote to share? I’d love to hear it.
Wishing you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too)