Cheers Sexy People!
This past Saturday nite, I went to the Out Of The Darkness Walk (sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention) in support of several of my friends who were walking in memory of those that they had lost through suicide. I was deeply moved by the experience. There were over 2,000 walkers participating and many family and friends there to see the walkers off as I was doing. In the course of listening to the speeches for the sendoff, it was pointed out that many in the LGBT community are affected by suicide, with more LGBT youth likely to die by suicide than their heterosexual peers. There was also an emphasis placed on the “stigma” of suicide, and the need to be able to talk about it openly.
I found all this very easy to relate to. There are many wonderful aspects of being polyamorous, but as with anything in this world, there are challenges and struggles as well in living an alternative lifestyle. I have identified as polyamorous for about three years now, and though I don’t consider myself full-on bisexual, I describe myself as heteroflexible. As long as I am being sexually safe, ethical and honest, I love freely if it moves me, and as one of my favorite sayings goes, “sex is fun and pleasure is good for you”, and I am happy to seek out safe, fun and pleasurable experiences when the opportunity presents itself and I am so moved, and do my best not to apologize for it. Growing up Catholic, embracing my sexuality fully has been a long and sometimes challenging journey for me.
On the down side, walking this path I chose has led me to occasionally feel loneliness, light bouts of depression sometimes, feeling like a freak that my monogamous friends do not fully understand, an outcast in the everyday world, and confusion if I am doing the right thing. I always come back to believing that living my life the way I see fit, exercising freedom of choice, enjoying feelings of tenderness for my loved ones, having the desire to live authentically always wins out. But please make no mistake that there are some days that are not easy, if not downright difficult. I feel that being polyamorous pushes my personal growth to places I would have never normally gone. I have become better at searching my thoughts and feelings, sorting through difficult emotions and difficult circumstances coming out on the other side a better person, hopefully a better friend and a better lover.
Speaking of stigmas, I have no problem seeking out help when I need it. During a particularly difficult period where I was not only navigating “coming out” to close family and friends as polyamorous (which is no small adventure), and I was also dealing with the loss of both of my parents due to old age and complications with cancer, I sought out a poly-friendly therapist. Let the professionals do what they do best, and if therapy could help me get through some difficult times, then I’m going to get me some therapy. Screw stigmas. Let’s talk this stuff out and get somewhere! Grief of all kinds requires some TLC to get to the other side.
I have also realized that by attempting to help others through this blog, I end up helping myself! What a wonderful win-win! We can all use more emotional support, education and sex-positive thoughts as we go through life.
If you’d like to learn more about the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the LGBT community, click here:
Wishing you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)
Thank you for sharing this. It is so important to be telling stories like this. There are an awful lot of people out there who suffer in silence, never knowing that they aren’t alone. The more these messages get out, the more people tell their stores, the better the chance for reaching the people who really need to hear it.
Thank you so much for the comment. I completely agree. Just being able to talk about difficult experiences and feelings helps ten fold, whether we are talking to our family and friends, or a therapist when needed. The more we can let go of “stigmas” of all kinds, the better off we all are.
Thank you fo your words today.
You are most welcome. I hope it was helpful in some way. That is of course my goal here – to share ideas and knowledge and help one another.