Cheers Sexy People!
Well, as with anything in life, living a polyamorous lifestyle has its ups and downs. The past week has had its share of that for me. Maybe one of the things that I enjoy about being polyamorous is my dread of boredom, and my enjoyment of living life to the fullest. Sometimes the big highs — and even the lows if I’m being really honest with myself — help me feel alive, help me feel that my journey is a constant stream of personal growth and pushing myself even when I don’t want to, constantly picking myself up off the floor to try again… and again. And sure, there are days where staring at a wall for a couple of hours to reboot my brain and freakin’ chill out might be just what I need too. Being polyamorous has helped me get better in tune with reading my own emotional signals as well as physical signs of distress. Why? More relationships = more potential misunderstandings, more crossed wires, more negotiation, more emotions to sift through…. I love it. Bring it! But some days are better than others.
Some of the highs this week include going to the zoo with my lover and watching a seal twirl, dance and chase a banana that a child is holding outside the glass because it looks like a shiny fish; grinning, dancing and giggling my head off with my girlfriends while my husband and boyfriend make us all dinner; working on this blog and finding out that I reached someone in a truly helpful and rewarding way; great intimate sexy moments followed by awesome cuddles and a dreamless nap… Some of the lows include struggling with finding the right words to express myself in a loving way and failing miserably, setting boundaries with my partners that feel right to me but might be construed as hurtful to them, saying something in a quick fit of anger that I immediately regret and have to apologize for it…
Hey, I’m not perfect. But I’m trying… really damn hard sometimes. Some days I get it right, and some days I fall down. But I’m learning and loving and living, that’s for sure. LISTENING is the other “L” word I am constantly working on as well. 🙂
The below article is a great one that I revisited this week to help center myself again, and remind myself of great nuggets of wisdom that I maybe need to tattoo on my forehead (or have visions of tattooing them on other people’s foreheads –> said with love and humor, of course. 🙂 ) There is some really fabulous, quality stuff in here. I hope you enjoy it.
http://www.xeromag.com/fvpolymistakes.html
Wishing you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, great sex too!)
Kitty
Hi – thanks for the xeromag link (much more relevant than the fetlife link in your previous post). I liked the point: “Be careful about getting involved with an existing couple who haven’t worked out what polyamory is all about” . It may be tempting to do a theesome with hot non-poly couples but it often ends with trouble.
You are most welcome. (and noted on the FetLife link. I linked that in my earlier post partly to give my friend credit for the terms, and so the community could read it in his own words, and not just mine.) Yes, I think there are ALOT of good points in the “Poly Mistakes” article. I also like the point that you referred to. My husband and I made a point of doing alot of research and soul searching before trying to embark on new outside relationships, to help alleviate us causing trouble. One of my favorite points is “Don’t try to isolate your relationships.” I have definitely found that each relationship has some kind of impact on the others, and trying to keep them separate is futile and stressful.