Hola Sexy People,
Whether you are in a monogamous relationship OR a polyamorous one, we all know that communication is soooo impawww-tant. 🙂 But it becomes even increasingly so in polyamorous relationships partly because there are more people involved trying to relate to each other in a happy, healthy way. And sometimes there is even less time to do so, because though love can be infinite, time is not. So the time we do get to spend with each other, we want to make the most of it, and have productive, supportive dialogues, with hopefully a minimum of misunderstandings (and definitely not of the Three’s Company variety!). Misunderstandings of course will happen, as will hurt feelings from time to time. But there is no reason we can’t all make an effort to TRY to communicate better, more effectively, and with some kindness. I mean… these are people that we care about and love, right??? Well let’s treat them with the respect that they deserve.
This article is on my list of resources, but I thought it would be great to highlight here as a blog post. There is a some GREAT stuff in here!
To illustrate some points that are brought up in the article using a real life example:
This past weekend, I was a third party to a discussion two of my intimates were having. One of them was bringing up a perceived slight or hurt to the other, and asked me to “help,” almost acting as a moderator of sorts. I reluctantly agreed (and was also partly curious to see what would happen). The first person brought up the perceived hurt to the other party. The other party explained their reasoning, and then apologized and corrected himself where appropriate. I thought we were done….
The “hurt” person continued to bring up the hurt over and over again. It was as if she didn’t hear a word the person she was speaking to was saying. This is not helpful and wastes everyone’s time! As the article suggests, if you are going to bring something up for discussion, then be ready to REALLY LISTEN to the answer. And then respond to THAT ANSWER, not the repeating item / story that is going through your head. We’re trying to move forward here in a positive direction, not stay stuck in place. This is where I stepped in as “the moderator” and pointed out that she had just received an apology as well as a different course of action that she might find suitable to remedy the situation. I’m not sure if I helped or not, but all we can do is try, do our best to improve, and then try again. We’ve all been there, but let’s practice together. Oh, don’t forget to try to LISTEN after you ask a question.
Happy Communicating! And Enjoy!
Wishing you love, peace and happiness,