Cheers Sexy People!
Happy Friday, Loving Without Boundaries gang! I’m so excited to share my latest podcast interview with the amazing Scarlett Ross. I had the good fortune of meeting Scarlett at this past year’s Atlanta Poly Weekend polyamory conference back in June 2018 where we were both presenters. I learned that we both are affiliated with the Relationship Equality Foundation – Scarlett as a Director and myself as an Outreach Representative. My beloved and I both attended her “Measure Me By My Yardstick, Not Yours” presentation, which I found to be absolutely fascinating, enlightening and thought-provoking. In this presentation, Scarlett questions how we define the success of a relationship. So often, we ask questions based on numbers and things we traditionally can measure mathematically, such as “How long have you been together? How many children do you have?” But in our consensually non-monogamous, gender fluid, alternative world, what if we changed that thinking around and instead asked questions that measure fulfillment, such as: “Are you happy? Tell me about your connection…” How much more empowering and inclusive of ALL kinds of sexual orientations, relationship structures, and genders would these kinds of questions be? Hmmmmmmm! What an important and powerful discussion to have as we expand our ideas on what success and fulfillment means for us — especially as we embark on a new year. These are the kinds of conversations that can start to change the world and open minds, especially in this political climate. How about you? Are you willing to ask better questions? Of yourselves? Of each other? Scarlett! You are such an empowering figure and thought leader! I’m so proud to know you, and honored to share some of the same spaces with you! Keep doing all of your fine work, my Domestic Goddess friend!
Some topics we discuss in this warm, fascinating, and illuminating interview:
— Her journey that lead her to polyamory and three foundation partners, where she enjoys so much depth and warm. 25 years of identifying as polyamorous! Wow!
— How she learned to be poly online (not in the south where she lives).
— How much of her work centers around educating therapists about polyamorous lifestyles.
— The moment when she realized that she was not just appreciating the female aesthetic, but that she was bisexual. And how she realized this after she was married to a man.
— She vulnerably shares some of her challenges with handling a breakup of a friendship with a metamour of hers, working towards establishing boundaries when needed.
— We discuss concepts such as triangulation, and owning your shit thus taking responsibility for our own contribution to issues that crop up (but not take ALL of the blame when it is not warranted).
— Her desire to keep respecting and supporting verbal space and inclusivity within LGBT+ communities.
— Her work as the Professional Education Committee for the Relationship Equality Foundation in Georgia which supports equal relationship rights for everyone.
— Scarlett defines the term “Domestic Goddess” and discusses how she is a Domestic Goddess in her household, which I find absolutely fascinating! It involves intentionally constructing poly-friendly spaces at home, creating “metamour-friendly spaces,” and landing spaces, and so much more! Totally fascinating! I invite you to learn more about this by listening to the interview!
— How she loves telling others that she has two husbands (which typically makes folks cringe), and how we struggle with finding the right words to honor the depth of our relationships with our partners.
Thank you Scarlett, for being so awesomely generous with your time; for being a thought leader sharing your 25 years of knowledge in polyamory; and for sharing your wisdom and insights with us via the podcast interview! It was enlightening, thought-provoking, and so fun! Follow Scarlett’s work at the Relationship Equality Foundation where she is the Director, as well as on Facebook @ScarlettRoss.
To hear the podcast, go to the Podcast link here and subscribe to the Loving Without Boundaries podcast, and check out Episode 98 with Scarlett. Also, please help spread awareness of alternative lifestyles and create more tolerance for consensual non-monogamy in the world at large by Rating and Reviewing the Loving Without Boundaries podcast in iTunes. It only takes a few minutes.
If you would like to be interviewed either in written form or via audio on the podcast, please feel free to contact me and we will set something up. Thank you!
EXCLUSIVE CONTENT OFFER – We continue to have some exciting goings on here at Loving Without Boundaries (LWB). We now have exclusive content for you via the LWB podcast and my Patreon page for those who choose to become a patron. Please visit the link to check out how you can come join the party over at Patreon! Want to hear more from our amazing interviewees? You got it! Want to dig deeper into the community and your fellow poly folk? Right on, let’s do it! Want free coaching sessions? It’s all there! Come join us, and enjoy exclusive content made just for you, our patrons of this work!
NOTE: Soon I will be offering a monthly group “hangout” and coaching calls for all of our podcast patrons at any level. If you are supporting the podcast, I am supporting you on your journey. Come join us and meet like-minded folks on the same journey you are!
UPCOMING POLYAMOROUS-FRIENDLY EVENTS
1) Free LWB Facebook Group for Healthy, Sex Positive, Open Relationships — Ready to explore healthy, deeply connected (and virtually jealousy-free) open relationships? It’s all possible – especially when surrounded by a community of people already doing it. Many in newly open relationships experience roller coaster emotions of jealousy, insecurity, and feel alone on their journey. That’s why I created this free Facebook group where people are coming together to share actionable tips for succeeding in multiple loving relationships, explore deeper love, and find mutual understanding and support. There’s an abundance of rock star information posted in the group daily by our amazing members. We create a safe place to engage that’s fun and thrilling! Click here and request to join our free group!
2) New Culture New Year’s Eve — Want awesome, unique, fulfilling New Year’s plans? Do you believe that we can create a just and sustainable world? Ring in 2019 in the loving, New Culture community that embraces ALL of you no matter who or how you love (except for violence)! cfnc.us/newyear.
We’ll share intimacy games, cuddles (for those who want them), relationship freedom, group sharing circles, dance, a New Years party, delicious food, and gorgeous nature. It’ll be a rich, stimulating, fun time with people that care about each other and the earth. Register here: cfnc.us/newyear/register
3) Relationships Without Drama Day-Long Workshop, Sunday, February 3rd, 2019, 10am – 5:30pm — Why do relationships that begin with such high hopes often lead to ongoing stress and disappointment? What does it take to create a relationship that is supportive and appreciative for both partners? Find out at the Relationships Without Drama Day-long workshop on Sunday, Feb. 3rd in DC with Michael Rios Indigo Dawn. For more info, visit facebook.com/events/185134282420167/ or cfnc.us/relationships/day-long. Register by Jan. 15th to get the Early Bird price: eventbrite.com/e/relationships-without-drama-day-long-tickets-53664364559
4) Southwest Love Fest (SWLF), Tucson, Arizona, March 29–31, 2019 — “The Southwest Love Fest is a weekend conference on consensual non-monogamy held annually in Tucson, AZ with opportunities to learn, share and connect with other like-minded people. We had a hugely successful 1st year in 2018 and plan to make it even better for 2019! Taking what we learned this past year, 2019 is set to be even more radical, thought-provoking, and transformational. SWLF is an open space to find community and learn from others’ diverse relationship experiences.” NOTE: I will there presenting two workshops (“Jealousy Survival Guide” and “Sex Positivity”) at SWLF 2019! Come join us at this fun polyamorous conference! AND presenter mentioned above, Zach Budd will be there as well!
5) Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit (SFS), Alexandria, Virginia, August 15–18, 2019 —The Sexual Freedom Summit features human rights activists, sexuality educators and researchers, professionals from the legal and medical fields, authors, sexual freedom movement leaders and organizational partners all working toward the time when sexual freedom is fully recognized as a fundamental human right. This Summit is for EVERYONE interested in learning about the issues in the realm of sexual freedom, advancing their current knowledge and in gaining the tools to actually create the change we need to accomplish. I already have my ticket! I hope to see you there!
See you on the flip side, lovely community! Keep being brave, compassionately vulnerable, and uniquely and authentically you!
Wishing you peace, love and happiness
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)
Need more specific help aligning your relationships with who you are?
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Are you feeling a little lost, challenged, or uninspired in your relationships and would love some guidance on your journey?
Our Free Breakthrough Session Call is a great place to start your path of discovery, so you can have more loving and intimate relationships that inspire you! And our “Discover Your Path to Fulfillment in Open Relationships” coaching packages are a deeper-dive into the topic of self-discovery with alternative relationships, with a one-on-one guide to achieve maximum results in your life. Whether you’re already non-monogamous, involved with someone who is, or “poly-curious” and wondering if non-monogamy might be right for you, I work with people struggling with every aspect of multiple intimate relationships.