Cheers Sexy People!
Wow wow WOW! What an incredible day I was fortunate enough to share with a spectacular array of humans, both in the audience and on the stage. “Relationship By Design” relationship coach, Effy Blue and her faithful and hard-working assistant Sara Dahan put together a spectacular event last weekend 9.16.17 in Brooklyn, NY at a kickass space called House of Yes. I am so honored and grateful to have had the opportunity not only to attend with both of my partners (my husband and my beloved) in tow, but also to share the stage on one of the fantastic and fun panels alongside some of my favorite activists, writers, and artists. Yet not only was being on the panel rewarding, but the entire event was jam-packed full of inspiring stories, thought-provoking questions, hope-inducing statistics, as well as lots of remarkable performances both pre-recorded (we had a TedTalk presenter in our midsts!) as well LIVE on stage!
ALL THE AWESOME AT “CONSIDER THIS…”
Here’s the lineup of what went down at “Consider This….”:
“Ten Things Polyamory Can Mean Besides Sex With Other People” by Tina Horn — I had the good fortune of hearing Tina speak at last year’s Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit. Yay! And it was a privilege to get to see her speak again, this time about all things sex, poly and um, not sex! A very informative as well as fun presentation. Thank you!
“Relationship Fails: We’re Thinking About It All Wrong” by Effy Blue — I was lucky enough to hear some of Effy’s story on stage when we were co-panelists at Hacienda Villa last year at Poly Wry Talks. Yet it was truly great to hear her expand on that origin story and her journey here in this talk. I always find it illuminating to hear how each of us get from point A to point B with consensual non-monogamy. Thank you for sharing so generously, Effy!
“I Talk Dirty” by Olive Persimmon — A spoken word piece that was expertly performed as well as hilarious! We were on the edge of our seat watching Olive tell us her captivating story poetically and passionately. Go Olive! You’re awesome!
Panel: “Redefining Sex, Pleasure, and Identity” with Sid Azmi, Tina Horn, Olive Persimmon, Effy Blue — This was such a great panel learning more about the journeys each of these courageous women have been on. So inspiring, fun, informative, and eye-opening. Thank you, ladies!
“What’s Age Got To Do With It?” by Ashton Applewhite — Ashton was hand-picked to speak at TedX in Vancouver on the topic of Ageism. She flawlessly gives her talk in this excellent and thought-provoking presentation. I spoke to Ashton during the dinner break where she shared some of the behind-the-scenes anxiety behind preparing to give, and delivering a TedTalk. Fascinating! Keep your eye out for an upcoming podcast episode with Ashton here at LWB.
“Chosen Family & Alternative Kinship: How did we get here?” by Dr. Elisabeth Sheff — I am one of Dr. Elisabeth Sheff’s biggest fans in the entire world! OK well maybe her spouse is that, but I’m damn close! As usual, she delivered a fantastic presentation on family creation through the ages, where monogamy fits in, and where alternative families and lifestyles also share space in our world. The statistics are in: Chosen families have not only always been here — they are growing in numbers as well as acceptance. Yay for that! Thanks, Eli!
Panel: “Non-Monogamy, Just Another Normal” with Tikva Wolf, Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, Kitty Chambliss, Atrina Brill, Effy Blue — It was such a blast to sit on this panel alongside these Wonder Women, many of whom have become friends and colleagues as well as heroes of mine. How cool is that? The audience asked excellent and intelligent questions that we enjoyed answering such as “What surprised you about your journey?” and other questions about how presenters were selected, and discussions of tough emotions such as jealousy. I was truly inspired by the great conversations, honest answers, and seeing great people working towards helping other great people as we all work towards positive change.
“Keeping My Kidneys” by Mindy Raf — Absolutely side-splitting hilarious! Those would be my first words to describe this vagina / feminist inspired performance. My husband and I recently went to Edinburgh Fringe Festival where we saw some great acts. I was delighted to see that Mindy is such an creative talent that she too just returned from performing at Edinburgh Fringe Festival – now known as one of the largest creative festivals of its kind in the world! Way to go, Mindy! Keep up the great and important work that you are doing, opening minds and opening hearts with your antics.
This weekend was a very special weekend for me personally in my “not-so-private” life as well. I was filled with love, gratitude, and sheer bliss that both of my partners were there to support me in the audience for my humble moment on stage among some of these great polyamorous thought leaders and pioneers. One hilariously awesome moment after I gave my 5-minute intro on stage, both of my partners yelled out from different parts of the audience “We love you, Kitty!” I was overwhelmed with happiness in that moment. Just awesome!
Though that experience was flipping fantastic, two other moments stand out. My husband is from just outside Manhattan (my boyfriend from close-by Northern New Jersey ironically). So we took the opportunity to visit and stay with my husband’s parents, my in-laws. We are “out” as polyamorous to his open-minded mother, but not to his father. My boyfriend had not yet met his father, and I was very excited to see that happen. All of the time that the five of us spent together was just lovely. Everyone got along even! Well, there’s always that normal tension that the offspring feels around one’s parents. But overall, it was great to have those “get-to-know-conversations”, watch how kind and considerate everyone was towards one another, and chuckle to ourselves at our inside jokes of what our unusual V-Triad household looks like back home. If you are wondering, no we did not “come out” as polyamorous to my husband’s father. He doesn’t plan to as his father is well into his 80s, and I respect his decision to leave that one alone.
The second moment that warmed my heart was when my husband and I “rescued” my beloved from a sticky unanticipated situation later that evening. My beau was slated to attend his high school reunion in north Jersey after “Consider This”, then get a hotel to crash for the night with his best friend who organized the event. Well let’s just say that things did not go as planned. And my beau was “stranded” and feeling out of sorts. He took a train back into the Big Apple, where my husband and I were able to swoop him up and whisk him back to our in-laws for a comfortable bed and warm breakfast the next day. It felt so wonderful that our humble little family could look after one another, know we have each other’s backs, and know that our Chosen Family as well as our biological families can come together when needed – whether the crisis is small or large. Special thanks to my husband for braving NYC traffic to bring us all together again, home safe. Love you guys so much!
I am THRILLED for Effy and Sara that they had such a fantastic and successful event. Special thanks to their patron Andrew Sparksfire, founder of Hacienda Villa, for his generous contribution in helping make the event happen. You rock, Andrew! Great getting to meet you again in person! Also the event was sponsored by Fantasy – A new sex-positive dating app for open-minded couples and singles that matches you based on your fantasies and lifestyle. Fantasy advertises themselves as “your safe space to meet like-minded people and speak your desires.” I’ll be checking this app out later both personally and professionally. Stay tuned for a review coming soon! Watch this space!
Wishing you peace, love and happiness,
(and thrilling, fun sex too!)